So...today happened....

That's right...today happened and I was floored! First off I was watching the "House" episode from Monday and it was about this African president that was in the hospital for treatment and the doctors found out he was a tyrant, killing people in his country through genocide. Well the doctors didn't care if he died or lived and had a twinge of what's right or wrong. In the end one of the doctors does end up killing the president because he thought he was doing what's right. As I was contemplating morals and ethics and trying in my own mind to find the perfect answer, my thoughts just went to a question I saw on a shirt that said "Who would Jesus bomb?". Is that where I stand as a Christian? Do I follow Jesus' views on killing and death? I'm all Mennonite on this subject. I believe, in His commandment to us, that God gives us the direction/ability to love everyone and the freedom to not have to judge who deserves to die or live. We just have to love. But what does love look like? Does it look like killing one to save a million,that's what God did. Then I had to answer the question of who would Jesus bomb. I came up with a list! 1) Bad Guys - good guys always kill the bad guys...alas everyone is bad and no one is good... 2) Mosquitos - I thought about this one way too much and ended up wondering if God was ever testing us with Moquitos seeing if we respected His creation enough to not kill 'em.... 3) Satan - this seemed like the winner!!!! If Jesus bombed Satan then that would save a million hearts from brokenness, a world from dying, and His own sadness... Pondering the last thought I concluded that Jesus would bomb no one because he would have done it already....right??? Mind-boggling....I need someone to talk this out with!!! I'm no expert or even novice in ethics and morals. That then brought me to the realization that I'm "regreting" (I also don't believe in regrets because to me in means that I didn't learn anything and boy did I ever learn!!!) not living like Jesus this WHOLE summer. I feel like, just now in the last five days of my time here that I actually trying to live in a way to shine light. This whole summer I was apathetic to the thought of living like Jesus. Complacent and lazy...I even got that on my final evaluation at work....my boss used "headache", I like to think of myself as laid-back, in all reality it was pointing to the fact that I was a slow and lazy housekeeper!!! OK back on point. Tonight on my way to supper I was reinforced in the thought that I'm a Christian through three comments by people. All summer I was having problems with this just making it through a day. I did not think about who I was and where I belonged. Now that I'm reflecting on the summer, these comments helped to strengthen my belief. The comments were in passing and included "she wouldn't want to hear that she's apart of ACMNP", "I'm going to add some bash the Christians if you don't come", and "how could you say that you're a Christian" (in reference to phrase that I'm not a good person...hahahahahahahaha). Of course these comments were more making fun of me then encouraging but to hear those words coming from their mouths just reminded me that I believe God loves me....I needed to hear those words....well....I didn't actually hear those words....but from God I did....ummmm.... I was taken aback from these occurrences because they all happened within an hour of each other and it was after I was contemplating morals and ethics and struggling with the "regret" (I can't think of a better word to use at the moment) of not living a shining life pointing to Jesus this summer. I was reminded that God used me anyway and people saw/see what I stand for even when I fail to be a great example. SO I encourage you out there reading this long crazy random story to find the ways that God shows YOU how much He loves you. I discovered that today it was through a TV show and random comments from people!!!!

Let me tell you...

about my winter plans - in about 11 days I will be done here at Signal Mountain Lodge (Oct. 22). After that if weather, health, and God permitting I will be road tripping to Devil's Tower, WY, Mount Rushmore and the badlands, over to Chicago to see my roommates and maybe do an adventurous hike, up to Wisconsin to see Lee (the crazy foo' who has my interest...is that a good way to say my bf???), over to Michigan to see Lee's stomping grounds, then south to Kansas to make a loop around seeing friends, family, and interesting points of the state. Then I will head home to chill until November 29th or so. Then I will head to Copper Mountain to start my winter job as ticket checker on the lifts. Lee will be doing the same and we'll be there until the mid of April. After that...back to the National Parks??? So I ask prayers for safe and wise travel, for preparation for the winter, for my relationship with God and Lee, and for rest. I thank you all for the prayers and thoughts!!! I love you ALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! Pictured: the Glacier trip participants at the World's Largest Purple Spoon (maybe) on the first morning of the trip.

Let me tell you...

about Sunday - I put no effort in going to church. I thought I would be fine without it. Well this summer I didn't realize just how low I've become. Sure my devotions weren't up to par and my prayer life has suffered but my praising and worshiping grew with each hike and look at the mountains and creation around me. Both my roommates have left and I have been, not totally lonely, a hermit to life around me. A shock came last weekend. The last two ACMNPers asked me if I would like to go to church with them. First thought was YES, I need it, and then I realized that we would have to drive all the way to town, I made plans for later that day what if time runs over, I don't want to put effort into looking presentable in public, etc. Finally I decided it would be good to go, so I went. I was overwhelmed. It had been so long since I've been to a corporate worship service. It had been so long since I didn't have to lead a service. I was low on my fellowship aspect of God. I had the ACMNP group but we were still pretty far away from regular fellowship, they had mostly left and we were away from Church in the sense of a building, a piano, and a pastor. We had community but towards the end of the summer it was drifting and I was empty. So going to church was a huge encouragement. Of course the atmosphere was not as awesome as being in the park and the group of people stayed in their cliques at church but the responsibility I had through out the summer was gone and I could just sit and worship without having to worry about filling others. There was also communion and a chance to connect with my Jesus and His love again. I didn't expect to be so dry when I went. I realized the true need for connection and I reflected on college and the dry spells I had there and saw a correlation between all the times in my life when church was big and I was happy to when church was a passing thought and I was struggling. Church, no matter how much I liked it or hated it, has always kept me encouraged and filled even when I went with shame, judgement, sin, or hatered within me God has used church to make me let go. Without church/community I've been distant, apathetic, and a wreck. This is another thing I've learned through this summer and have used it as a time for reflection. Thanks to all you who have dragged, invited, or drove me to church!!!! That's the first thing I thought Sunday afternoon was "Man do I miss church". Pictured: This is a sign from yellowstone telling us to be aware of where we step...

Let me tell you...

about my day yesterday - welp I wake up and think it's going to be adventurous today and awesome. So I go into work and it's snowing, icy, and cold but that's no biggie I'm excited for it to snow. Then I remembered that there are only 3 other housekeepers working today (4 in all) when there are usually 7 or so...that's nothing we got this. When the morning meeting starts I look at the lists (these are the notecards where the rooms we need to clean are written). For the past week each list has had about 7 checkouts (the rooms we have to super clean for the next visitor) and 5 stayovers (the rooms where people are staying another day). Not now...each list had 15 checkouts and 7 stayovers. That's not too bad when it was peak season we had about 10 checkouts and 7 stayovers on our lists to clean each day. Alas it was snowing and icy and cold. So all day I stayed pretty silent knowing that if I would've said anything it would've been negative because my partner, who had a really great way of just complaining with a smile and a "it's alright" after each time, wasn't into adventures for that day. So we finished what needed to be done and because I really have nothing else to do each day I like to stay at work as long as possible, also because I don't like to walk up to my room then two hours later I have to walk down to eat supper. Anyway we decided it was going to be a five o'clock day, in the snow, ice, and cold. We cleaned more rooms and around 4:30 Todd (the boss man) came to the cabins and told us to stop and head back to the laundry room. The day was over. It was quite the day and it was also a day to just stop and reflect on attitude. In reality attitude is everything - Philippians 2:5. ATTITUDE CHECK. pictured: Prim, Joe, and I at the Gros Venture RED HILLS