And surely you’ll buy your pint cup and surely I’ll buy mine!

     As I was thinking about the New Year and reflecting on my upcoming birthday, the song “Auld Lange Syne” came to mind.

           Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

     I realized that I take my relationships and memories for granted. I’ve grown through every interaction and would not be the woman I am today without them.

     Sure, memories are a mixed blessing. They can bring up joy and remind us of the love God has for us. Memories can also bring up past hurts and make us relive anger and bitterness.

     While in the education program in college, a huge part of the learning was reflection. Reflect on how your instruction is going, reflect on how your students are learning, reflect on what works and what doesn’t. I have stopped reflecting on my life and on my spiritual journey. I have become complacent in where I am and I don’t look for new ways to grow and for new ways to strengthen and encourage the relationships God has given me.

     For this first month of this New Year I have decided to relive the “old times” with some pictures I have found, developed ones not digital, and just reflect on what I’ve learned and how I grew with each memory and old acquaintance, this year they won’t be forgotten.

Another Rainy Day

As I sit on this mountain, waiting for 3 o'clock to roll around so that I can go to work, I ponder. This summer has been unusually unique and I would like to list for you what I have seen, heard, experienced, etc...

*there is snow everywhere (where I live in Paradise) and it is July 21st. I do believe the snow will last until the first snowfall of winter comes in August!

*Lee and I have done a couple pretty epic snow hike and that’s about it. No big plans for a backpacking trip or anything because of the weather (foggy, rainy, cool) and snow.

*Mt Rainier is a national park that takes your gaze and reminds you that nature is supposed to be respected. You can’t go out for a nice leisurely hike without thoughts of getting lost, being safe, or protecting yourself from the weather. This mountain commends the strong willed and avid adventurer and will eat up the weak and foolish!

*I have seen death this summer, it was shocking and it is another reminder of how life is so fleeting.

*One of our co-workers went on a hike all alone and didn’t return. Lee and I helped with the search efforts by telling the rangers of his whereabouts because we were one of the last people to see him. They found him two days later in a tree well with a broken ankle, broken rib, and hypothermia. Snow is a beast not to be messed with. Nature has endless power that will suck you up like a piece of dirt into a vacuum.

*The ministry team that I work with this year is amazing and they have really taught me to be a better leader, grow a humble spirit, laugh in the face trouble, and to keep Jesus always in the front of my mind.

*As a ministry team we have monthly smores nights that have been so successful in pulling people away from the drudgery of work and focusing back on the freedom and fun living in a park can bring.

*In the café where I spend time, I have had my soul sucked out because of everything that the company I work for lacks in appreciation, organization, and leadership. As I was reading about Mother Teresa, how she saw the depravity of humanity firsthand in the streets of Calcutta, there was a story about how she cared for a woman being eaten by rats in the street, even though she felt a twinge of disgust Mother Teresa worked with a fully joyful heart out of love, I regained my soul and adjusted my attitude about my job.

*Lee and I were arguing one night about being at Mt Rainier because in all reality we don’t like it here. We were trying to figure out who picked this location to find fault and blame that person. We decided the only reason we are here is because God lead us here through His power. We don’t blame anyone now; we have changed our attitude on our location.

*Lee and I would like to leave. Yesterday a supervisor from the Jackson Visitor Center came into the café and said “Kayla, it’s so nice to see you here and in uniform.” That was a compliment to me because I’m one of the few that haven’t left yet. A couple main people left this past week from the café and that means more work for the people left behind. I won’t leave, I’ve seen what happens when people back out of their contract and it’s a disaster for the ones left behind. So I’ve declared myself a lead and I’m giving God a chance to fix my heart because I feel this is a time for me to raise moral and be a leader since our supervisor really isn’t.

*I’ve seen Mt. Rainier in all its glory! It has a long brown slide on its side because of an avalanche/rock slide. They say it’s the biggest in recorded history on the mountain. Lee heard a rock slide one day while hiking to Camp Muir.

*The rooming situation is nice here for the women in Guidehouse. It’s pretty spacious and clean.

*The drive around the park makes me kind of sick. The roads are windy and narrow in spots and it’s always so long because you are going up or down the mountain.

*I’m excited for September. I get visitors!

*One day, as I was working, during a foggy and cold week where I was just feeling super down I look in the doorway and there stand Blake and Kate Morgan! They came to the Northwest for their honeymoon. It was a HUGE surprise to see collegemates outside of Winfield let alone Kansas! They totally helped ease the gloominess of the weather and my mood.

*I have received cookies in the mail. Chandra, you are super amazing and terrific!

*I received a beautiful postcard of one of the warm beaches of the Philippines, it brightens my day when I look at the picture and when I think of one of the best things that have happened to my life, God gave me a continual blessing when I met Abbie Earwood! (hahaha…earwood…that’s funny to say still)

*I have been reading a lot more and I feel like I have typed some big words in this post so I think I’m gaining knowledge outside of college!

*This summer so far has really been jammed with experiences and people and I see God’s hand at work EVERYDAY!!! It’s nice to see that because sometimes I go somewhere thinking that’s where God wants me and hoping I’m correct but this summer is just a true encouragement KNOWING and SEEING that God is at work here through us!

Beauty

Do you ever have those days where you look in the mirror and just think to yourself "Man, I look good today!"? Well today was one of those days. It's not because I had just been to the spa, it's not even because I showered. I thought through my actions the past couple of days to figure out what has made this occur. I have come up with three things that I’ve been doing that influence the way I look (and feel) today.

The first thing is taking time to speak with God. Lately I've been riding my bike and running more than usual so that gives me extra time to think and pray over God's truth. I have nothing else to do during this time so I use it as a chance to go on a run/ride with my Creator. A time for Him to show me the beauty of the place He has put me in. This is a time to be filled with strength and endurance to follow Him (and finish my exercise). In Exodus 34:29 the author writes about how Moses goes atop the mountain, speaks with God, and then comes down the mountain, glowing with beauty after speaking to his Lord. There's no easier way to look beautiful than to spend time with the One who created your beauty and thinks you are the prettiest in the world.

Next is drinking tons of water. I gave blood this week and I always try and drink enough fluids to make the giving process the easiest and fastest it can be. Then I decided to start drinking a liter of water as soon as I wake up in the morning to detox the insides. Drinking water is like a game to me, to see how much water I can suck through the straw of my water bottle or water blatter. Using my Camelbak water bottle I can easily stock up on the liquids I need. Not only water but also eating healthy and exercising is important as well. When I was younger, growing up in a church, I was filled with the thoughts of "your face doesn't make you beautiful", "your outward appearance doesn't matter", and "it's about your heart, not your make-up or jewelry". I never connected the two worlds of faith and exercise. I felt that is I would exercise it means I care more about my body then my faith. After reading this article…

(http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Diet/faith-fat-religious-youths-obese-mid-life/story?id=13204624)

I finally connected my "beliefs" and "thoughts" discovering that it was really great to learn about inner beauty in youth group, as a growing girl I needed to learn modesty and not how to get ahead by using my looks, but it would have been nice to have the chance to learn about being healthy and how it affects your faith. (I mean the game of La'Roach is awesome, don’t get me wrong. I did learn some games in youth group.)

As Christians we have to be prepared for anything and that means beating our bodies into submission! Using what I learned during exercise can be equated to my spiritual walk. In Ephesians 6 it tells us to put on the armor of God. Armor isn’t light and it takes someone in shape to be able to move with it on. I've never learned discipline better than the season I ran cross country in college. I learned the beauty of practicing and working everyday to feel prepared for racing. I can relate that to spending time in God’s word and working toward a goal in faith everyday makes me feel ready to conquer the attacks on my heart. I can’t go without running for a week and expect to be fast at a race and I can’t go without being captivated by my God and expect to not fall into self-pity.

Camaraderie, or being apart of a team, is needed in this life to survive and thrive! As a team all the runners knew what I was going through and were super encouraging because of that. On the flip side I finally understood the craziness people have to be able to do something like cross country. It's the same as Christians walking in faith. We know that someone in our big human family knows what we are going through with persecution, daily struggles, and trying to stay fully committed to our walk. To be beautiful, you need to feel beautiful; water and exercise really do the trick in making your body think it's beautiful with all the benefits and stress relieving they contain. Don't forget that what you put in is what you get out! If you eat chocolate cake you’re not going to be pooping out carrots!

The last thing that makes anyone feel beautiful is the power of encouraging, complimentary words. Proverbs 16:24 says “kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body”. When you are having a rough day at work there’s nothing better than the words of a co-worker or boss saying “good job on that project. You really nailed it.” or when you are feeling ubber ugly and someone compliments your hair or your outfit choice it brightens our thoughts. Words are our attitude builders or destroyers throughout our day. Even the tone of our speech can affect someone’s day. If someone yells at you or talks with no interest in their voice, the words resonate as a bad thing. James 3:1-12 talks about how important our tongue and our speech really are. Our words are the reflection of our hearts, we have to reflect on what we say so we can tell where our hearts are focused. Is the heart focused on love or on selfish desires? Have you spoken building/encouraging words or hurtful/spiteful words? A beautiful women’s beauty is also shown through her mouth! Using Twain’s quote we can replace “a fool” with “beautiful” and it means the same thing! “It's better to stay silent and look a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.” - Mark Twain.

Soul Rot

Can I just say, right now, just how insightful and wonderful the Sunday school class I have been going to is? Well it's true. Today I was blessed by some scripture verses that really put into perspective our attitudes.

Psalm 106:13-15 But they hastily forgot His works; they did not [earnestly] wait for His plans [to develop] regarding them, But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness and tempted and tried to restrain God [with their insistent desires] in the desert. And He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their souls and [thinned their numbers by] disease and death.

I'm sure I've read it before but it was nice to get a new look at it! As a human I like to get my way. I want people to agree with me, pity me, encourage me, compliment me, etc even when I don't deserve it! I like to get my way even if the other person doesn't exactly understand what that really is. The scriptures brought to my attention made me turn a 180 and realize that my "me" attitude is hindering my life. The whole Bible talks about doing things to the "Glory of God" and not my own. I don't want a "leanness" in my soul, I want it deep and being spring-fed through God's love and mercy. As I reflect on the verses and how self-centered I have been I realize that I need to wait on the Lord, receive His mercies daily, and to be content with where I am, daily striving to be closer to Him. The second I lose that contentment is when I lose focus and start worshiping a golden calf (time, business, regrets, or laziness) like the wandering Israelites. They lost focused and their souls started to shrivel. This week, the beginning of Easter week I'm going to be more focused on "Glory of God" and less on myself and to deepen my soul instead of losing focus and letting my soul dry up and rot!

Preparation

Today in Sunday School we were talking about the book "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh Demoss. The lie we talked about was "a career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother." Talking about this was a little difficult for me since I'm not a wife or mother. But before the thought "this doesn't pertain to me" entered my brain I realized how I look at the kiddos at school as my "children" and how as a teacher I play a huge part in their growth just like a parent. Then I got to thinking about the children I knew that had the benefit of loving and attentive parents and comparing them with the children whose parents have to work all the time, the parents that choose the casino over time with their children, and the parents that don't know how to parent. With these experiences I have recognized just how important a devoted parent is to a child's learning and living and how important that role is in life! As a single woman I have the responsibility to prepare for the time when I may be a wife or mother. While focusing on the projects that God has me doing now I realized that I have to prioritize and recognize the important focuses in each season of life. Right now my focuses are Jesus, parents, and adventures but soon that will change. To reflect on and discuss with others what I'm discovering now will help me be focused on the important things and prepared for things to come!

Look Around

Do you ever just gaze at something so eye-catching, awe-inspiring, beautiful that you feel the urge to pull out your camera and snap a few shots? Then as you look back upon the photos taken, do you ever feel disappointed and a little upset because the photo is not at all what you saw? I'm thankful that our eyes are not made like cameras and that we can enjoy a wondrous creation with eyes made by the same wondrous Creator! Don't take for granted such a blessing and enjoy your week with eyes made for seeing a marvelous Creator!

Isaiah 33:17

With your own eyes

you will see the glorious King;

you will see his kingdom

reaching far and wide.

Love and the Mountain Madness

From the infamous voice of Stephen Stills this post begins...

"Well there's a rose in the fisted glove And eagle flies with the dove And if you can't be with the one you love honey Love the one you're with"

The past three weekends I've been hanging out with friends, high schoolers, and ski bums but my heart was still a little sad because I haven't seen Lee in a couple months.

For my first ski weekend my bff Molly and I were listening to the radio and heard "Love the One Your With". I automatically turned that into the theme song for my weekend trips.

While sitting on a ski lift I had LOTS of time to think and contemplate life. On one trip up, that song was in my head and it really opened my eyes to the fact that I've been really selfish with my love. My "feelings" get in the way of love expressed. I'm tired or I just don't really like you or know you and so I don't care about how I act. This song changed my attitude process. Although most of the lyrics are weird and don't pertain to anything, the main line says it all, if I can't be with my friend Molly then why not love the other people I'm around. If I can't be with my mom then why not still love my co-workers. Why wait to give my love to Lee when I can give it to some high schooler and my love tank will be refilled before I reunite with Lee. This song may be some crazy 70s love song but it speaks truth!

So through out your day, don't wait for those few people that you truly love to show up, give out some hugs, smiles, and compliments to those people you are stuck with!

Distance and the Mountain Madness

Along those lines of being with the one you love whoever said "Absence makes thy heart grow fonder" was never in a long distance relationship for over a week. With all those ski lift rides I had enough time to contemplate those words. Many years ago my youth pastor was talking about relationships and at that time I could care less about things like boyfriends but some of his words stuck with me. When talking about the above quote he added on "absence makes the heart wonder" and I've been pondering both lines and thinking about which is truer. This past weekend I've decided that the second is the most accurate. While riding the ski lift I was thinking about Lee and how I was kind of "forgetting" things about him since I haven't seen him in so long. I've forgotten his smell, his facial hair, his laugh. Then I was thinking about the same scenario with God and how I've been "forgetting" things about Him. It's so much harder to love someone I've never had physical contact with, just descriptions from the Bible and seeing the effects of other people's relationships with Him. Once I've authentically connected with my Lord, the relationship took a turn and I could think of Him as a person I see and talk with everyday. But once I allowed sin to start taking over my heart and my spiritual disciplines started to go by the wayside, it was like we separated. God went to Africa and left me in Kansas alone. I start to forget about His characteristics that made me fall in love with Him in the first place and start to think about only myself and how I can survive alone. I've forgotten about how much He loves me with an intimate, never-ending love. How He provides everyday for me physically and emotionally. How He blesses me even when I forget about Him. Just as I forget about Lee some days, going the whole day without speaking to Him, I loose connection with God. My heart wonders to other things like TV, facebook, being bitter and pessimistic, dwelling on the past, and making stupid decisions. Distance, SIN, makes the heart wonder and makes you forget about the love that really matters! This is my goal, to draw closer to my Creator so that when Lee and I finally see each other my priorities are in line and I can love him with a spiritual love and not a self-pleasing lust (because love is not self-pleasing).