This post is dedicated to a happy life…

    So I have found the secret to a happy life! Are you absolutely ready for this? Don't continue reading unless you are sitting down, perhaps holding onto something, and have your emergency contact dialed on your phone just in case, this is it…to have a happy life all you have to do is NOTHING!!! This logic comes from: If you do nothing then nothing will happen, wah-lah happiness! 

    As Lee and I have been traveling around talking with friends one night we got onto the subject of traveling and life's happiness. One of our friend's mentioned reading an article that talked about this sort of thing and it mentioned that people who travel don't enjoy life as much as those who don't. The people who travel see more and in return want to do even more, a vicious cycle that I'm struggling with right now. 

   As I plan out my life I can't see a time where I will stay grounded for too long. Not necessarily where I live but in my career path and in my plans of things to do. Of course everything changes, sometimes daily, for me and I might find that thing I feel like doing for 50 years but we'll see if that happens. So until then I struggle to find solid ground to stand. I've been constantly on the go pretty much since I left for college. My permanent address has been in Garden City but I haven't lived there for a consistent 6 months since high school. It's great to see the world and have new experiences but there are draw backs. I want to do MORE because I find out about more to do!!! 

  I was talking with Lee about running a "Krispy Kreme" race in North Carolina in February and he tells me that I want to do too much and that it's too far away for such a thing, plus what will life be like then? Will we have a steady job we can't leave then? He can't see himself packing up to do something crazy like that. But I think it would be tons of fun and exciting plus you get a FREE box of a dozen donuts. I also have a longing to hike the Appalachian Trail, the Pacific Crest Trail, the Continental Divide, or all three! And don't get me started on the other countries I want to visit! While Lee and I were in Acadia we found out about Torres del Paine National Park in Chile, it looks awesome and has been begging us to visit! 

  Another downfall is the fact that I'm missing out on the life of my family and friends. Sure everyone says that I'm super lucky to get to do awesome things but is it worth it? I've missed weddings and babies, I've missed deaths and graduations, and I've missed reunions and celebrations. I'm missing out on making the big "after a college degree" bucks and buying a house and a puppy to decorate (you would not believe the costumes they make for dogs nowadays). So where do I go for guidance? The Bible? Sure the people traveled to the promise land from Egypt and had a sweet vacation spot in the desert but they had their families and mules with them. Sure Jesus tells us to go out into the world and make disciples but he always sent them out in groups to go into their mission fields because it's not good to be alone because of temptation, disheartening/for encouragement, and wisdom. Sure I have a partner but for the most part he can't do the job mostly because of the temptation part! ;) Here I am enjoying what I do but longing for a little bit more, a whisper from my God. I am content at where I am but I truly believe that God has given me a passion to be adventurous but also to be in community, how can those two exist in my life? I guess I have all winter to figure it out. As for now I'm training for that race, anyone want to join in, we must run to Wichita for the donuts though!

Learning Through Opposition

My first summer in Maine lead me to Hebrews 12 and truly praying for Jesus' guidance since He knew what I was going through. A refresher on how that summer went, I spent the summer, of my junior year in college, at a summer camp in Readfield, ME. The people I worked with and the children I counseled were totally different than what I was used to in Kansas. The attitudes and thoughts about life were totally flipped from the Christian environment I was used to, especially since most of them were Jewish and not big into faith but into drinking. So I found comfort in reading my little glow-in-the-dark Bible and landed on Hebrews 12 as my strength. Again I found solace in that passage this summer with events like feuding with a negative/whiny co-worker, talking to sarcastic and scary people who were vocal about their atheism or just not friendly around a vocal and nervous Christian, or being at our Cadillac mountain sunset service where a lady came over yelling at us to stop having worship and to leave because we were ruining her evening by our hymn singing and our "lack of consideration" of the separation of church and state law. This summer, again, I felt the pressure from an unbelieving world. I have noticed through these experiences I can truly feel Jesus' love. I feel sorry for those who haven't truly been mocked or discouraged or yelled out because of their faith actions, these moments lead to full reliance on God for strength. Are we in a hostile environment wherever we are, it's just not as noticeable? Is it because we truly aren't in a hostile environment or is it because we truly don't let ourselves show Jesus to those around us to make them feel uncomfortable? I like it best when everyone is happy and comfortable and situations aren't awkward or intimidating. Jesus makes people do weird things and if we truly lived with whole devotion would more people be vocal about or act on their disgust of what I believe. Why did it take two trips to Maine before I noticed the conflict of others around me? Am I truly living for Jesus at home or am I just in a more hostile environment in Maine? May we keep throwing off the things that hinder and the sin that entangles and keep running, remembering that Jesus also saw opposition from sinful men so that we don't grow weary and loose heart. I'm praying for those situations that we don't truly see where the differences lie, may we grow stronger when those situations boil up!

Acadia National Park-Experience 1

As the summer has progressed along I reflect back on the good moments, the accomplishments, the experiences, the regrets, the hurt feelings, the realizations, and the bad moments. It has been a summer of mountain climbing and lots of selfish, bitter, attitudes at work. It’s a summer of visiting great places and not being as active as I would have liked to. This was a summer of craziness and laziness. I worked at one of the most visited National Parks in the U.S., this place is so easily assessable that anyone can visit! The president did and also the people who buy out all the XX-Large shirts. I had people from my hometown and all those cute little Asians that annoy because they want a bag for all the 50 items they purchased. I had angry Italians and sweet southern couples. But the ones that really stood out, in a positive way because there were a few people, that didn’t understand that vacation was to relax and not get angry because things aren’t going their way, that stood out a little negatively, are as follows:

1. Brady the 12 year old Boy Scout from Maryland. I met him one Sunday morning before our Blackwoods service started. He was sitting on a bench when we arrived to the campground. His head was down looking through a book I could tell was a Bible. I was intrigued by this boy so after we set everything up, I walked over and talked with him. After the general getting to know you stuff I asked what he was doing there and where his parents were. He said that he loved early mornings so he came to the amphitheater to read and that his parents and brother are still sleeping. This boy was such an encouragement to me to wake up early and spend time with God and to love Jesus on my own when everybody else is sleeping. On vacation this boy could’ve been sleeping, reading a comic book, playing video games, riding a bike, or listening to his mp3 but instead he chose to come to worship, with most people being 4 times his age, and love Jesus by himself!

2. A couple, who were here for almost an entire month, staying in Blackwoods, always coming in to see me at the gift shop to say hi and get a whoopie pie, and were regulars to our Sunday morning service. On their last Sunday in Acadia they gave the A Christian Ministry in the National Parks team a stack of cards to show their gratefulness for what we do and love for the ACMNP team. These cards were photos the man took and then pasted onto cardstock. Handmade and beautiful. Also a Hawaiian elderly mother and middle-aged daughter came into the Jordan Pond Gift Store one day when I was feeling tired and annoyed and purchased some items. To hide my true feelings, I used a sarcastic friendly tone and speeded them on their way. The next day, to my surprise, they came again remembering who I was and thanking me for the help from the previous day. The daughter also said that Kayla was a very Hawaiian name, leading me to believe I’m destined to live in Hawaii. I checked out their items, chatted with them a little, and then sent them on their way feeling a little better about knowing this couple. Then the third and last day, they came into the store and headed straight for my register to hand me a small bag. The daughter is telling me that her hobby is jewelry making and that she was so grateful for my services and kindness that she gave me some earrings in return. I was floored by guilt, shock, and joy. I felt horrible because I hated them when I first met them, shock by such a surprise, and filled with joy from God’s blessing me through this couple. I was shown that using our gifts and hobbies God has given us to show others love is a huge blessing! God blessed me through people who used their skills for others.

3. And then there is Maxine. Most people I talk to in the gift shop I don’t remember the next time. I see almost a billion people a day and only a couple I can distinguish as being memorable. Well Maxine was one not so memorable. She put some things on hold with one of the staff, which is usually looked down upon by us because we like to think if you came to shop you would get it done in one trip. I saw Maxine’s name and thought about it for a while, nothing to deep but wondered who Maxine was. Luckily she came to my register later on and we got to talking, which I don’t remember anything about. Well the next day Maxine came back and put more stuff on hold with another person again and not remembering the previous day’s encounter very well I began thinking about her and wondering if it’s the same lady. To back up the story a little, before work that day I was reading a letter that a friend of mine sent. It was so encouraging just flowing with God’s love and guidance that it kind of bummed me out. This summer I haven’t been working hard on my spiritual relationship and I haven’t been thinking about God’s will in my life so I read this letter as a wakeup call to get back in gear! But first the shame and guilt seep in because I have been lazy with my relationship building and falling more into sinful actions (as you can tell from above my attitude has been annoyance and bitterness) then into turning from my feelings and running into love. So I was bummed at work thinking about my slacker-ness then Maxine walks up! We talk about life and she brought up the fact that I had told her my future plans the day before and then she says “Kayla, you know God loves you right. And there’s nothing you can do to walk away from that. He has plans for you!” I’m floored. She wasn’t pushing this on me like some crazies come in doing, repeating that we need to be saved and believe in Jesus and start repenting without hearing us out that we either don’t care or already know it. She just states this fact that I tell myself but am not truly sure I believe some days. I thank her in the midst of trying to stop tears from this encounter. I felt like she was a prophet sent to me that day with words I needed to hear THAT DAY!!!! If only I would listen to the spirit’s movements more, then I could be more encouraging to people and not so angry!

Who Demonstrates Unfailing Love

Have you ever done something that is a little out there? You know that one part of your life, one group of friends would be all for it and the other part of your life, the other group would be completely against it and even question your worth or your relationship? Is what we do making up what we are worth? Do you ever think that if you were truly following God and living like Jesus would you have made that decision? Nothing we do can separate us from the love of God and yet just one word or action can separate us from the love of a friend or the respect of someone you look up to. So what does this effect have on our faith? We grow up thinking one thing and then one day something breaks that belief completely. Our faith grows or stagnates or decreases by the decisions we make and the people we are around and look up to. So where is my faith at? I make weird decisions. My faith in God must be weird. How is God going to use the weird decisions I make? All I know is that I have faith that God will use me no matter what I do or say, He can be praised in everything and that’s what makes me hopeful that I’m not a useless case!

So one night I was kind of feeling down being bombarded with "mind-junk" (mind-junk is selfishness, laziness, stress, and a deep need for Jesus) and it was clogging my actions and relationships and just made me want to fall in bed and stay there a while escaping from my problems. Well I decided after talking with Lee that I can't stay like this so I get my Bible out and start reading the chapters in 1 Corinthians for Bible study. As I was doing this I was praying that God would just love me for the failure I am and that He would come close to me and really heal that broken part of me. Well as I was doing this I got a text on my phone from Lee, at this point I thought for sure it would read "Why are you acting like this you are being stupid and childish and I'm done with you for the night." (sometimes I get anxious when I get a message from Lee or when he talks to me because I know I've been acting wrongly). Well instead it said "Open your door". I was taken aback. I didn't deserve to be surprised but instead condemned for being selfish. As I opened the door all I could do was cry because there was a heart torn out of paper with a smoothie on top of it. At that moment all I could do was thank God for His LOVE for me!!!! "Thank God, that was Lee's doing" you are probably asking yourself, at that moment I needed to know just how big God's love for me was and He used Lee to do just that. I felt a weight lifted off of me. God threw Himself into my life and really gave me the peace I had needed and it's all because of Lee's selfless smoothie! The times I feel the most useless God reminds me that I'm not especially through those amazing people in my life!

This past week for Bible study we read 1 Corinthians 1-4 and I grabbed onto a verse I read and I'm using that to memorize and sort out lies and truths in my life.

"But those who wise to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings righteousness and justice to the earth, and I DELIGHT in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!" Jeremiah 9:24

This verse has been an eye opener especially about how I should be the most proud about knowing and believing in God and also that He delights in showing His unfailing love!!!! I have seen His love a lot this week as I have been searching for it through the memorization of this verse.

What's the story morning glory?

As you walk in you look up and see stars and glitter painted in the walkway. There are boxes of food against the wall and then you turn a corner and there is where everyone else is. You look to your right and there’s a guy sitting behind a table of merchandise as you wonder how “ethical” that is. As you look around for a seat you notice on towards the front so you walk by rows of metal chairs to find steps people are sitting on and pillows on the floor where you can sit if you would like. The worship band starts up with a couple of songs and then goes into a prayer. Where at the end they say “and bless this food as nourishment to our bodies”. For sure, you have no idea what’s happening and thinking that’s a new way of praying for the sermon. The thought of the words God has laid on the speaker’s heart as nourishment to us. But then you realize there’s a meal for all who have come, so everyone gets up and grabs a plate of food to eat before everything gets started. Then they start playing Outkast, Everclear, and “Gangsta Paradise” songs to fellowship and eat by. After about an hour a woman stands up and starts telling everyone the announcements of the week and reminds all that there isn’t enough money to keep this place going so she encourages all to bring friends and family and help support and to buy a t-shirt from the man behind the table to help support. She also introduces the speaker. The speaker talks on Mark 5:21-43 the stories about the woman who has been through 12 years of bleeding and the death of a religious leader’s daughter. The speaker talks about how the stories are told in a certain order for a reason and how they both show the ways we come to Jesus. The bleeding woman had to work to get through the crowd and had to have faith about what would happen if she touched Jesus. She sought him out and followed Him no matter what happened. On the other hand the religious man’s daughter did nothing but Jesus still came to her. These are ways we come to Jesus in our own lives. Some seasons Jesus fights to get to us and we do nothing and then other seasons Jesus is hoping that we will get off our couches and work to get closer to Him. He loves us and will do what He can to get to us. (Side note: so at Bible study we were talking about 1 Corinthians 1-4 and two of the guys started talking about how we live for Jesus. One talked about how He has already done everything for us so we don’t really need to do anything because it will all work out if we focus on Jesus. The other guy talked about how we need to do things to show Jesus to others and that if we can do enough our faith will grow. Kind of like this story about Jesus in Mark. Alas I believe there is a halfway mark between us and Jesus. What are your thoughts???) After the speaker finishes, there is communion and a note that it is gluten free! Then there are more worship songs and a benediction to have a blessed week. Then they blare “Love Addict” as people help clean dishes and the building and also help stack chairs. The people you see around are pierced, tattooed, a different race, fat, short, skinny, tall, wearing stylish clothes, wearing video game clothes, clean, smell weird, a biker with a long beard wearing leather, a young blonde girl who loves to play with that biker, there are old men, teenagers, an older couple dressed up for a night on the town, the speaker had a Mohawk and a fork in his belt. It was a huge mixture of backgrounds and life experiences. This was church. The church I came to experience. How was IS God working in downtown Denver? (What a mind-frame I’m in thinking “was” is how that sentence should go!) What IS God doing in my life, in my thoughts, in my relationships?

Check this website out: www.scumoftheearth.net

My Life With YOU

Photo = Ski biking!!!!!!!!!

I’m here living the ski bum dream and watching it snow, thankful to be done with work and not standing out in the cold anymore! It’s been a while since I’ve written and I’ll catch you up on things…I’m working at Copper Mtn ski resort for the winter as a ticket checker and anywhere else I’m needed. I stand in the cold for about 5 hours a day greeting people, scanning tickets, and being the soundboard for angry customers who just found out that life isn’t fair. I get an hour long lunch break to eat, warm up, ski. Then I head back to employee housing to cook, hang out, play pool/ping-pong, watch Arrested Development with Lee, and fall asleep around 9 or 10. I’ve got to tell you it takes a special person to work winter seasonal jobs. It’s a different atmosphere than summer work. You have to be more passionate to stand out in the cold. It’s also not as laid back and seems to be all about revenue and things (like end of season bonuses) get cut if the snow doesn’t come. I do love the community I work with-the lift ops! Yes most of them do fit the stereotype of pot-smoking, hardcore winter sportsters so it’s been hard to make lasting friendships with the people I work with since our hobbies and passions are different but most people are nice and we chat some. It’s also been really great to have people come and visit, like the parents, Leah, and Chandra. I have realized just how much I really do miss the stability of seeing the ones I love often. Why are there always pros and cons to everything I do? Alas the adventure of it all overrides the lack of familiar love, so I find love in other things like people’s dogs they bring on vacation, the kids that I see daily, the regulars that know my name, my supervisor and peers, and of course Lee. It’s been so nice to have him around! As I reread “In the name of Jesus” by Henri Nouwen I was convicted that I can’t do my little adventures alone and still have a strong faith or even sanity to last through the adventure period. He talks about how the disciples were sent out in twos and how we are not made to go in this world alone! Since my parents are tied to having real jobs and not yet in the age of life where an RV comes into play, I’m hoping to convince the adventurous side of Lee to stay around awhile to find experiences we’ve always wanted to try and do them! I’m done for if he ever decides to settle down soon because after my summer in Maine I’m not going out alone again and all my friends have ties in their lives as well. Going along in life with others is a huge thing God has opened my eyes to; by a blessed talk with my supervisor who loves Jesus but lives the Christian ski bum life and not the typical “church going” life, finding people who work in different areas of the mountain that are followers, and having opportunities to build relationships with believers on the mountain. The body is everywhere but I’m usually not brave enough to acknowledge it and unite. I’ve got to stop being so passive on the subject and really use the blessing and gift of Christ’s body God has brought to me! Along with working the dream I’m also daring to try new things like ski biking and skiing double black diamonds. I hope this finds you well whoever may still be a reader of this blog and I pray the adventure of life and being a follower of Jesus is lived daily. I also pray that you realize that you are a blessing to me if you are reading this, I don’t say it enough! May gnarly days come your way.