Ramblings and Rattlesnakes

The Love Thing

2012-02-13T00:27:00.000-06:00

It's Valentines Week...
I just saw The Vow...
I'm staying with my married friend and her hubby...
It's hard to not fall into that "where's my knight in shining armor and happily ever after" or I want a head-over-heels kind of love, mind-frame.

As I digest the stimuli, memories, and thoughts that surround me right now, I keep remembering that I don't really know what a knight or head-over-heels love is. In Corinthians 13 it gives the definition of a true, great love and in 1 John I read that GOD IS LOVE.

Alas my heart so desperately wants to know that someone is thinking about me, cares about me, and wants to hear my voice everyday. I want a physical human being to fit this description but these expectations may be too high. I know love is not a check list of qualifications that is completed on time every time like I try to turn it into.

I have a new years goal of learning how to love and I have discovered that first I need to unlearn what I think, have seen, and been told about what love is! How great it would be to have a fairy tale life but how boring and unexciting it would be. I would take for granted all the greatness my fairy tale life would give me. I would never truly know what great love is without the struggles to find it.

I grow in knowledge daily, if I put my own desires on the back burner, of the love God has for me. Parents, friends, and boyfriends will CONSTANTLY let me down. That's the beauty of God, I wouldn't need him as much if humans were always building me up and meeting my expectations. I can't be hard on them and on myself when expectations aren't met, I have to let go and let God and that's an easier said than done thought.

I hear songs on the radio and think that in some way that song is a worship song from my heart to God. This week my song is Foreigner's "I Want to Know What Love Is". The song is not meant to be worshipful but the lyrics cry out to God (ok it's probably sung to a girl but girls have crazy notions about love that I wouldn't trust). In all reality I don't want some boy to teach me how to love because I know what is truly on his mind and it doesn't end happily ever after for my heart, at least I haven't seen it happen yet.

I want the essence of love to teach me, to guide and instruct me to love, others and myself. I follow a jealous God and I truly believe that my heart wants a jealous love. A love of someone who fights for and desires my affection.

So all you lucky ones who are getting flowers or chocolates for Valentines Day, I'm getting a beautiful sunset and sparkling stars that were created just for me. And for you as well.

I'll remind myself not to be disappointed that my own romantic expectations were not met with dinner and a movie (and maybe a ring...ok a girl can hope!) because in all reality the universe was given to me out of a romantic love from my own heavenly bridegroom!

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older
Aaaah woah-ah-aah

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Aaaah woah-oh-ooh

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me, oooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh oooh
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Middle School...need I say more?

2012-01-05T18:27:00.000-06:00

Today I subbed at Abe Hubert, my ol' middle school stomping ground. Boy did it bring back memories!

Have I ever told you that I didn't really have friends in middle school? I was kind of shy. I moved around in elementary school and intermediate school. My friends from those schools went to the other middle school so it was a new group of people to get to know. It was a lonely yet opening time for me. I made a lot of mistakes, one of them includes tripping a beast of a boy and fracturing my leg but anyway, I have one story that really stuck with me.

I participated in middle school girls basketball. There was one girl on the team that I thought was my "friend". She would ask me to take her home (which meant my mom and I drove her across town to her family trailer). We always took her home. We would talk and laugh the drive time away.

Since my chums all ate together at lunch, I would try and find a spot with them. When I did eat there my "friend" would give me a dollar to go get her a drink from the vending machine. Every time I ate with her she would do that. I thought I was her favorite friend and that she liked me enough to trust me with her dollar.

One day one of the girls that ate at the table came up to me and said that my "friend" would make fun of me when I walked away to get her drink. I didn't ask details because that stung. How could the girl I'm nice to, give rides to, and talk to be so mean to me?

After I found out, my mom and I still gave her rides, I still pretended that we were friends and I never really hung out with her after the basketball season ended. I would think "how can she ask for a ride home from me when her friends she liked are right there?"

Going through this helps me to remember that no matter what I say about someone, somebody is saying something like that about me. This memory has hindered my relationship building, especially during high school, because I feel like my friends will stab me in the back at sometime during our relationship. I do have people that have proven amazing and those are the ones that have broken through my wall I have built up to protect myself and have proven that friends really are a huge blessing instead of a curse.

So there is a back story of my life...it's good to reflect on this, I hadn't noticed what my little friend did to my heart but this is good, time to forgive and forget (again)!

The Nephews

2012-01-04T12:17:00.000-06:00

Not gonna lie, Skieger and Camrin are a huge part of who I am. They brought the family together with their births. They've added joy and love to our lives. They are also full of laughs and ways to make us laugh.

          Now they are so big and getting older by the day. I loved being able to see them while I was in college and being a part of their younger years. After that I drifted away, starting a new life and being away has made it hard on following family.

        It's been tough living so far from my dad's family (they all live around Tulsa, OK) and not being able to grow-up with them and getting to know them better. I've struggled with the urge (it seems like a burden some days) to connect with family outside the shadow of my parents. Trying to build relationships with almost complete strangers that I'm related to. It has to be a focus and priority to build up relationships, a big part of it is forgiveness and shedding our own selfish wants and desires to better a relationship. I am floating around now, not really knowing my family. I'm haunted with the thought that any one at any time can pass away and the earthly relationship is over.

        Now I have a new niece and I'm set on making her a bigger priority in my life. My nephews have given me a chance to see that little ones are always watching what I do, Lord help me to be a Godly example for the little ones in my life!

Since I'm Already Talking About Cousins...

2012-01-03T15:58:00.001-06:00


Nicole and the Chipmunk

   This is one of my all time favorite pictures! I love the way Nicole's shirt matches the background of the Colorado scenery. Getting my first love for adventure on trips with the family to see the family. I'm glad the rest of my family didn't live in Kansas when I was little, then we wouldn't have gotten to go anywhere since mostly the vacations we took were to see family.

   After working in the parks I have learned that feeding animals, touching animals, and just being around animals is dangerous and harmful for all those involved. I am a changed person since this picture was taken, I no that a fed chipmunk is a dead chipmunk and that they can bite your hand off in a matter of seconds (thank you Zion National Park for that image!) But I feel a sense of responsibility now that I have that knowledge and can't go back to the care-free treatment of animals. I shudder when I see people try and pet a fox and I have to tell someone to stop feeding the birds their breadcrumbs. However when I get back home to Kansas I feed the animals. I take old bread to the zoo, I throw out my banana peel when driving, and I give the cats the meat I don't want to eat.

    So is there a difference between the two places? Is it ok to feed the animals in Kansas when it's frowned upon in National Parks? There are a million more people visiting National Parks then there are visiting my Kansas house, should that make a difference? Well this little chipmunk got fed and we had a beautiful day! I'm grateful for the beautiful experiences that have built up in my mind to feed my adventurous side, thanks family!

Cuz

2012-01-02T13:39:00.000-06:00

Today my focus is on cousins. Cousins - The people in your family you can marry in Arkansas, the ones that I played with in ways that made grandma nervous, and a person who lightens up a party just like Cousin Eddie. Today I ponder the great memories I made with my cousins. Even though I may not know them as well as I would like, they still are a part of who I am. Remember your cousins today and send them a little note saying your thinking of them.

My favorite memories with my cousins:

* Wienie roasts and summer nights. On one of those nights Nicole, Robert, and I were walking on the wooden "bridge" above the Catholic ditch. Someone was bouncing on the board and we all tumbled into the cow pea water, right after a shower.

* One day Tyler and Robert come into the house smelling like something fierce. They decided to jump into piles of cow dung for fun.

* Christmas was always better with Nicole and Robert. Sleeping in the living room altogether, I still don't know how Santa made it through without waking someone up.

* Hunting Easter eggs with the cousins from Oklahoma in Grandma Dunbar's back yard.

The Beginning

2012-01-01T17:39:00.000-06:00

Grandpa Harvey and I eating watermelon.

Great Grandpa Hanks holding me a couple days old.

Random pictures I've scanned

To start this new year I need to start at the beginning, family. I would be nowhere without them, especially the ones I have never met or didn't get to know. I start this little project with memories of past experiences where family have shown support and love, through that I have become the woman I am today. I begin with prayers, blessings, and thoughts for my family, may this year bring strengthened relationships and more love.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup and surely I’ll buy mine!

2011-12-30T15:41:00.002-06:00

As I was thinking about the New Year and reflecting on my upcoming birthday, the song “Auld Lange Syne” came to mind.

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

I realized that I take my relationships and memories for granted. I’ve grown through every interaction and would not be the woman I am today without them.

Sure, memories are a mixed blessing. They can bring up joy and remind us of the love God has for us. Memories can also bring up past hurts and make us relive anger and bitterness.

While in the education program in college, a huge part of the learning was reflection. Reflect on how your instruction is going, reflect on how your students are learning, reflect on what works and what doesn’t. I have stopped reflecting on my life and on my spiritual journey. I have become complacent in where I am and I don’t look for new ways to grow and for new ways to strengthen and encourage the relationships God has given me.

For this first month of this New Year I have decided to relive the “old times” with some pictures I have found, developed ones not digital, and just reflect on what I’ve learned and how I grew with each memory and old acquaintance, this year they won’t be forgotten.

Another Rainy Day

2011-07-21T13:18:00.012-05:00

As I sit on this mountain, waiting for 3 o'clock to roll around so that I can go to work, I ponder. This summer has been unusually unique and I would like to list for you what I have seen, heard, experienced, etc...

*there is snow everywhere (where I live in Paradise) and it is July 21st. I do believe the snow will last until the first snowfall of winter comes in August!

*Lee and I have done a couple pretty epic snow hike and that’s about it. No big plans for a backpacking trip or anything because of the weather (foggy, rainy, cool) and snow.

*Mt Rainier is a national park that takes your gaze and reminds you that nature is supposed to be respected. You can’t go out for a nice leisurely hike without thoughts of getting lost, being safe, or protecting yourself from the weather. This mountain commends the strong willed and avid adventurer and will eat up the weak and foolish!

*I have seen death this summer, it was shocking and it is another reminder of how life is so fleeting.

*One of our co-workers went on a hike all alone and didn’t return. Lee and I helped with the search efforts by telling the rangers of his whereabouts because we were one of the last people to see him. They found him two days later in a tree well with a broken ankle, broken rib, and hypothermia. Snow is a beast not to be messed with. Nature has endless power that will suck you up like a piece of dirt into a vacuum.

*The ministry team that I work with this year is amazing and they have really taught me to be a better leader, grow a humble spirit, laugh in the face trouble, and to keep Jesus always in the front of my mind.

*As a ministry team we have monthly smores nights that have been so successful in pulling people away from the drudgery of work and focusing back on the freedom and fun living in a park can bring.

*In the café where I spend time, I have had my soul sucked out because of everything that the company I work for lacks in appreciation, organization, and leadership. As I was reading about Mother Teresa, how she saw the depravity of humanity firsthand in the streets of Calcutta, there was a story about how she cared for a woman being eaten by rats in the street, even though she felt a twinge of disgust Mother Teresa worked with a fully joyful heart out of love, I regained my soul and adjusted my attitude about my job.

*Lee and I were arguing one night about being at Mt Rainier because in all reality we don’t like it here. We were trying to figure out who picked this location to find fault and blame that person. We decided the only reason we are here is because God lead us here through His power. We don’t blame anyone now; we have changed our attitude on our location.

*Lee and I would like to leave. Yesterday a supervisor from the Jackson Visitor Center came into the café and said “Kayla, it’s so nice to see you here and in uniform.” That was a compliment to me because I’m one of the few that haven’t left yet. A couple main people left this past week from the café and that means more work for the people left behind. I won’t leave, I’ve seen what happens when people back out of their contract and it’s a disaster for the ones left behind. So I’ve declared myself a lead and I’m giving God a chance to fix my heart because I feel this is a time for me to raise moral and be a leader since our supervisor really isn’t.

*I’ve seen Mt. Rainier in all its glory! It has a long brown slide on its side because of an avalanche/rock slide. They say it’s the biggest in recorded history on the mountain. Lee heard a rock slide one day while hiking to Camp Muir.

*The rooming situation is nice here for the women in Guidehouse. It’s pretty spacious and clean.

*The drive around the park makes me kind of sick. The roads are windy and narrow in spots and it’s always so long because you are going up or down the mountain.

*I’m excited for September. I get visitors!

*One day, as I was working, during a foggy and cold week where I was just feeling super down I look in the doorway and there stand Blake and Kate Morgan! They came to the Northwest for their honeymoon. It was a HUGE surprise to see collegemates outside of Winfield let alone Kansas! They totally helped ease the gloominess of the weather and my mood.

*I have received cookies in the mail. Chandra, you are super amazing and terrific!

*I received a beautiful postcard of one of the warm beaches of the Philippines, it brightens my day when I look at the picture and when I think of one of the best things that have happened to my life, God gave me a continual blessing when I met Abbie Earwood! (hahaha…earwood…that’s funny to say still)

*I have been reading a lot more and I feel like I have typed some big words in this post so I think I’m gaining knowledge outside of college!

*This summer so far has really been jammed with experiences and people and I see God’s hand at work EVERYDAY!!! It’s nice to see that because sometimes I go somewhere thinking that’s where God wants me and hoping I’m correct but this summer is just a true encouragement KNOWING and SEEING that God is at work here through us!

Beauty

2011-05-08T23:13:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have those days where you look in the mirror and just think to yourself "Man, I look good today!"? Well today was one of those days. It's not because I had just been to the spa, it's not even because I showered. I thought through my actions the past couple of days to figure out what has made this occur. I have come up with three things that I’ve been doing that influence the way I look (and feel) today.

The first thing is taking time to speak with God. Lately I've been riding my bike and running more than usual so that gives me extra time to think and pray over God's truth. I have nothing else to do during this time so I use it as a chance to go on a run/ride with my Creator. A time for Him to show me the beauty of the place He has put me in. This is a time to be filled with strength and endurance to follow Him (and finish my exercise). In Exodus 34:29 the author writes about how Moses goes atop the mountain, speaks with God, and then comes down the mountain, glowing with beauty after speaking to his Lord. There's no easier way to look beautiful than to spend time with the One who created your beauty and thinks you are the prettiest in the world.

Next is drinking tons of water. I gave blood this week and I always try and drink enough fluids to make the giving process the easiest and fastest it can be. Then I decided to start drinking a liter of water as soon as I wake up in the morning to detox the insides. Drinking water is like a game to me, to see how much water I can suck through the straw of my water bottle or water blatter. Using my Camelbak water bottle I can easily stock up on the liquids I need. Not only water but also eating healthy and exercising is important as well. When I was younger, growing up in a church, I was filled with the thoughts of "your face doesn't make you beautiful", "your outward appearance doesn't matter", and "it's about your heart, not your make-up or jewelry". I never connected the two worlds of faith and exercise. I felt that is I would exercise it means I care more about my body then my faith. After reading this article…

(http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Diet/faith-fat-religious-youths-obese-mid-life/story?id=13204624)

I finally connected my "beliefs" and "thoughts" discovering that it was really great to learn about inner beauty in youth group, as a growing girl I needed to learn modesty and not how to get ahead by using my looks, but it would have been nice to have the chance to learn about being healthy and how it affects your faith. (I mean the game of La'Roach is awesome, don’t get me wrong. I did learn some games in youth group.)

As Christians we have to be prepared for anything and that means beating our bodies into submission! Using what I learned during exercise can be equated to my spiritual walk. In Ephesians 6 it tells us to put on the armor of God. Armor isn’t light and it takes someone in shape to be able to move with it on. I've never learned discipline better than the season I ran cross country in college. I learned the beauty of practicing and working everyday to feel prepared for racing. I can relate that to spending time in God’s word and working toward a goal in faith everyday makes me feel ready to conquer the attacks on my heart. I can’t go without running for a week and expect to be fast at a race and I can’t go without being captivated by my God and expect to not fall into self-pity.

Camaraderie, or being apart of a team, is needed in this life to survive and thrive! As a team all the runners knew what I was going through and were super encouraging because of that. On the flip side I finally understood the craziness people have to be able to do something like cross country. It's the same as Christians walking in faith. We know that someone in our big human family knows what we are going through with persecution, daily struggles, and trying to stay fully committed to our walk. To be beautiful, you need to feel beautiful; water and exercise really do the trick in making your body think it's beautiful with all the benefits and stress relieving they contain. Don't forget that what you put in is what you get out! If you eat chocolate cake you’re not going to be pooping out carrots!

The last thing that makes anyone feel beautiful is the power of encouraging, complimentary words. Proverbs 16:24 says “kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body”. When you are having a rough day at work there’s nothing better than the words of a co-worker or boss saying “good job on that project. You really nailed it.” or when you are feeling ubber ugly and someone compliments your hair or your outfit choice it brightens our thoughts. Words are our attitude builders or destroyers throughout our day. Even the tone of our speech can affect someone’s day. If someone yells at you or talks with no interest in their voice, the words resonate as a bad thing. James 3:1-12 talks about how important our tongue and our speech really are. Our words are the reflection of our hearts, we have to reflect on what we say so we can tell where our hearts are focused. Is the heart focused on love or on selfish desires? Have you spoken building/encouraging words or hurtful/spiteful words? A beautiful women’s beauty is also shown through her mouth! Using Twain’s quote we can replace “a fool” with “beautiful” and it means the same thing! “It's better to stay silent and look a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.” - Mark Twain.

Soul Rot

2011-04-17T15:08:00.004-05:00

Can I just say, right now, just how insightful and wonderful the Sunday school class I have been going to is? Well it's true. Today I was blessed by some scripture verses that really put into perspective our attitudes.

Psalm 106:13-15 But they hastily forgot His works; they did not [earnestly] wait for His plans [to develop] regarding them, But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness and tempted and tried to restrain God [with their insistent desires] in the desert. And He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their souls and [thinned their numbers by] disease and death.

I'm sure I've read it before but it was nice to get a new look at it! As a human I like to get my way. I want people to agree with me, pity me, encourage me, compliment me, etc even when I don't deserve it! I like to get my way even if the other person doesn't exactly understand what that really is. The scriptures brought to my attention made me turn a 180 and realize that my "me" attitude is hindering my life. The whole Bible talks about doing things to the "Glory of God" and not my own. I don't want a "leanness" in my soul, I want it deep and being spring-fed through God's love and mercy. As I reflect on the verses and how self-centered I have been I realize that I need to wait on the Lord, receive His mercies daily, and to be content with where I am, daily striving to be closer to Him. The second I lose that contentment is when I lose focus and start worshiping a golden calf (time, business, regrets, or laziness) like the wandering Israelites. They lost focused and their souls started to shrivel. This week, the beginning of Easter week I'm going to be more focused on "Glory of God" and less on myself and to deepen my soul instead of losing focus and letting my soul dry up and rot!

Preparation

2011-04-10T22:20:00.002-05:00

Today in Sunday School we were talking about the book "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh Demoss. The lie we talked about was "a career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother." Talking about this was a little difficult for me since I'm not a wife or mother. But before the thought "this doesn't pertain to me" entered my brain I realized how I look at the kiddos at school as my "children" and how as a teacher I play a huge part in their growth just like a parent. Then I got to thinking about the children I knew that had the benefit of loving and attentive parents and comparing them with the children whose parents have to work all the time, the parents that choose the casino over time with their children, and the parents that don't know how to parent. With these experiences I have recognized just how important a devoted parent is to a child's learning and living and how important that role is in life! As a single woman I have the responsibility to prepare for the time when I may be a wife or mother. While focusing on the projects that God has me doing now I realized that I have to prioritize and recognize the important focuses in each season of life. Right now my focuses are Jesus, parents, and adventures but soon that will change. To reflect on and discuss with others what I'm discovering now will help me be focused on the important things and prepared for things to come!

Look Around

2011-04-03T23:32:00.003-05:00

Do you ever just gaze at something so eye-catching, awe-inspiring, beautiful that you feel the urge to pull out your camera and snap a few shots? Then as you look back upon the photos taken, do you ever feel disappointed and a little upset because the photo is not at all what you saw? I'm thankful that our eyes are not made like cameras and that we can enjoy a wondrous creation with eyes made by the same wondrous Creator! Don't take for granted such a blessing and enjoy your week with eyes made for seeing a marvelous Creator!

Isaiah 33:17

With your own eyes

you will see the glorious King;

you will see his kingdom

reaching far and wide.

Love and the Mountain Madness

2011-03-08T23:32:00.002-06:00

From the infamous voice of Stephen Stills this post begins...

"Well there's a rose in the fisted glove And eagle flies with the dove And if you can't be with the one you love honey Love the one you're with"

The past three weekends I've been hanging out with friends, high schoolers, and ski bums but my heart was still a little sad because I haven't seen Lee in a couple months.

For my first ski weekend my bff Molly and I were listening to the radio and heard "Love the One Your With". I automatically turned that into the theme song for my weekend trips.

While sitting on a ski lift I had LOTS of time to think and contemplate life. On one trip up, that song was in my head and it really opened my eyes to the fact that I've been really selfish with my love. My "feelings" get in the way of love expressed. I'm tired or I just don't really like you or know you and so I don't care about how I act. This song changed my attitude process. Although most of the lyrics are weird and don't pertain to anything, the main line says it all, if I can't be with my friend Molly then why not love the other people I'm around. If I can't be with my mom then why not still love my co-workers. Why wait to give my love to Lee when I can give it to some high schooler and my love tank will be refilled before I reunite with Lee. This song may be some crazy 70s love song but it speaks truth!

So through out your day, don't wait for those few people that you truly love to show up, give out some hugs, smiles, and compliments to those people you are stuck with!

Distance and the Mountain Madness

2011-03-08T21:56:00.013-06:00

Along those lines of being with the one you love whoever said "Absence makes thy heart grow fonder" was never in a long distance relationship for over a week. With all those ski lift rides I had enough time to contemplate those words. Many years ago my youth pastor was talking about relationships and at that time I could care less about things like boyfriends but some of his words stuck with me. When talking about the above quote he added on "absence makes the heart wonder" and I've been pondering both lines and thinking about which is truer. This past weekend I've decided that the second is the most accurate. While riding the ski lift I was thinking about Lee and how I was kind of "forgetting" things about him since I haven't seen him in so long. I've forgotten his smell, his facial hair, his laugh. Then I was thinking about the same scenario with God and how I've been "forgetting" things about Him. It's so much harder to love someone I've never had physical contact with, just descriptions from the Bible and seeing the effects of other people's relationships with Him. Once I've authentically connected with my Lord, the relationship took a turn and I could think of Him as a person I see and talk with everyday. But once I allowed sin to start taking over my heart and my spiritual disciplines started to go by the wayside, it was like we separated. God went to Africa and left me in Kansas alone. I start to forget about His characteristics that made me fall in love with Him in the first place and start to think about only myself and how I can survive alone. I've forgotten about how much He loves me with an intimate, never-ending love. How He provides everyday for me physically and emotionally. How He blesses me even when I forget about Him. Just as I forget about Lee some days, going the whole day without speaking to Him, I loose connection with God. My heart wonders to other things like TV, facebook, being bitter and pessimistic, dwelling on the past, and making stupid decisions. Distance, SIN, makes the heart wonder and makes you forget about the love that really matters! This is my goal, to draw closer to my Creator so that when Lee and I finally see each other my priorities are in line and I can love him with a spiritual love and not a self-pleasing lust (because love is not self-pleasing).

This post is dedicated to a happy life…

2010-11-19T00:21:00.003-06:00

So I have found the secret to a happy life! Are you absolutely ready for this? Don't continue reading unless you are sitting down, perhaps holding onto something, and have your emergency contact dialed on your phone just in case, this is it…to have a happy life all you have to do is NOTHING!!! This logic comes from: If you do nothing then nothing will happen, wah-lah happiness!

As Lee and I have been traveling around talking with friends one night we got onto the subject of traveling and life's happiness. One of our friend's mentioned reading an article that talked about this sort of thing and it mentioned that people who travel don't enjoy life as much as those who don't. The people who travel see more and in return want to do even more, a vicious cycle that I'm struggling with right now.

As I plan out my life I can't see a time where I will stay grounded for too long. Not necessarily where I live but in my career path and in my plans of things to do. Of course everything changes, sometimes daily, for me and I might find that thing I feel like doing for 50 years but we'll see if that happens. So until then I struggle to find solid ground to stand. I've been constantly on the go pretty much since I left for college. My permanent address has been in Garden City but I haven't lived there for a consistent 6 months since high school. It's great to see the world and have new experiences but there are draw backs. I want to do MORE because I find out about more to do!!!

I was talking with Lee about running a "Krispy Kreme" race in North Carolina in February and he tells me that I want to do too much and that it's too far away for such a thing, plus what will life be like then? Will we have a steady job we can't leave then? He can't see himself packing up to do something crazy like that. But I think it would be tons of fun and exciting plus you get a FREE box of a dozen donuts. I also have a longing to hike the Appalachian Trail, the Pacific Crest Trail, the Continental Divide, or all three! And don't get me started on the other countries I want to visit! While Lee and I were in Acadia we found out about Torres del Paine National Park in Chile, it looks awesome and has been begging us to visit!

Another downfall is the fact that I'm missing out on the life of my family and friends. Sure everyone says that I'm super lucky to get to do awesome things but is it worth it? I've missed weddings and babies, I've missed deaths and graduations, and I've missed reunions and celebrations. I'm missing out on making the big "after a college degree" bucks and buying a house and a puppy to decorate (you would not believe the costumes they make for dogs nowadays). So where do I go for guidance? The Bible? Sure the people traveled to the promise land from Egypt and had a sweet vacation spot in the desert but they had their families and mules with them. Sure Jesus tells us to go out into the world and make disciples but he always sent them out in groups to go into their mission fields because it's not good to be alone because of temptation, disheartening/for encouragement, and wisdom. Sure I have a partner but for the most part he can't do the job mostly because of the temptation part! ;) Here I am enjoying what I do but longing for a little bit more, a whisper from my God. I am content at where I am but I truly believe that God has given me a passion to be adventurous but also to be in community, how can those two exist in my life? I guess I have all winter to figure it out. As for now I'm training for that race, anyone want to join in, we must run to Wichita for the donuts though!

Learning Through Opposition

2010-11-19T00:21:00.001-06:00

My first summer in Maine lead me to Hebrews 12 and truly praying for Jesus' guidance since He knew what I was going through. A refresher on how that summer went, I spent the summer, of my junior year in college, at a summer camp in Readfield, ME. The people I worked with and the children I counseled were totally different than what I was used to in Kansas. The attitudes and thoughts about life were totally flipped from the Christian environment I was used to, especially since most of them were Jewish and not big into faith but into drinking. So I found comfort in reading my little glow-in-the-dark Bible and landed on Hebrews 12 as my strength. Again I found solace in that passage this summer with events like feuding with a negative/whiny co-worker, talking to sarcastic and scary people who were vocal about their atheism or just not friendly around a vocal and nervous Christian, or being at our Cadillac mountain sunset service where a lady came over yelling at us to stop having worship and to leave because we were ruining her evening by our hymn singing and our "lack of consideration" of the separation of church and state law. This summer, again, I felt the pressure from an unbelieving world. I have noticed through these experiences I can truly feel Jesus' love. I feel sorry for those who haven't truly been mocked or discouraged or yelled out because of their faith actions, these moments lead to full reliance on God for strength. Are we in a hostile environment wherever we are, it's just not as noticeable? Is it because we truly aren't in a hostile environment or is it because we truly don't let ourselves show Jesus to those around us to make them feel uncomfortable? I like it best when everyone is happy and comfortable and situations aren't awkward or intimidating. Jesus makes people do weird things and if we truly lived with whole devotion would more people be vocal about or act on their disgust of what I believe. Why did it take two trips to Maine before I noticed the conflict of others around me? Am I truly living for Jesus at home or am I just in a more hostile environment in Maine? May we keep throwing off the things that hinder and the sin that entangles and keep running, remembering that Jesus also saw opposition from sinful men so that we don't grow weary and loose heart. I'm praying for those situations that we don't truly see where the differences lie, may we grow stronger when those situations boil up!

Acadia National Park-Experience 1

2010-10-18T08:27:00.002-05:00

As the summer has progressed along I reflect back on the good moments, the accomplishments, the experiences, the regrets, the hurt feelings, the realizations, and the bad moments. It has been a summer of mountain climbing and lots of selfish, bitter, attitudes at work. It’s a summer of visiting great places and not being as active as I would have liked to. This was a summer of craziness and laziness. I worked at one of the most visited National Parks in the U.S., this place is so easily assessable that anyone can visit! The president did and also the people who buy out all the XX-Large shirts. I had people from my hometown and all those cute little Asians that annoy because they want a bag for all the 50 items they purchased. I had angry Italians and sweet southern couples. But the ones that really stood out, in a positive way because there were a few people, that didn’t understand that vacation was to relax and not get angry because things aren’t going their way, that stood out a little negatively, are as follows:

1. Brady the 12 year old Boy Scout from Maryland. I met him one Sunday morning before our Blackwoods service started. He was sitting on a bench when we arrived to the campground. His head was down looking through a book I could tell was a Bible. I was intrigued by this boy so after we set everything up, I walked over and talked with him. After the general getting to know you stuff I asked what he was doing there and where his parents were. He said that he loved early mornings so he came to the amphitheater to read and that his parents and brother are still sleeping. This boy was such an encouragement to me to wake up early and spend time with God and to love Jesus on my own when everybody else is sleeping. On vacation this boy could’ve been sleeping, reading a comic book, playing video games, riding a bike, or listening to his mp3 but instead he chose to come to worship, with most people being 4 times his age, and love Jesus by himself!

2. A couple, who were here for almost an entire month, staying in Blackwoods, always coming in to see me at the gift shop to say hi and get a whoopie pie, and were regulars to our Sunday morning service. On their last Sunday in Acadia they gave the A Christian Ministry in the National Parks team a stack of cards to show their gratefulness for what we do and love for the ACMNP team. These cards were photos the man took and then pasted onto cardstock. Handmade and beautiful. Also a Hawaiian elderly mother and middle-aged daughter came into the Jordan Pond Gift Store one day when I was feeling tired and annoyed and purchased some items. To hide my true feelings, I used a sarcastic friendly tone and speeded them on their way. The next day, to my surprise, they came again remembering who I was and thanking me for the help from the previous day. The daughter also said that Kayla was a very Hawaiian name, leading me to believe I’m destined to live in Hawaii. I checked out their items, chatted with them a little, and then sent them on their way feeling a little better about knowing this couple. Then the third and last day, they came into the store and headed straight for my register to hand me a small bag. The daughter is telling me that her hobby is jewelry making and that she was so grateful for my services and kindness that she gave me some earrings in return. I was floored by guilt, shock, and joy. I felt horrible because I hated them when I first met them, shock by such a surprise, and filled with joy from God’s blessing me through this couple. I was shown that using our gifts and hobbies God has given us to show others love is a huge blessing! God blessed me through people who used their skills for others.

3. And then there is Maxine. Most people I talk to in the gift shop I don’t remember the next time. I see almost a billion people a day and only a couple I can distinguish as being memorable. Well Maxine was one not so memorable. She put some things on hold with one of the staff, which is usually looked down upon by us because we like to think if you came to shop you would get it done in one trip. I saw Maxine’s name and thought about it for a while, nothing to deep but wondered who Maxine was. Luckily she came to my register later on and we got to talking, which I don’t remember anything about. Well the next day Maxine came back and put more stuff on hold with another person again and not remembering the previous day’s encounter very well I began thinking about her and wondering if it’s the same lady. To back up the story a little, before work that day I was reading a letter that a friend of mine sent. It was so encouraging just flowing with God’s love and guidance that it kind of bummed me out. This summer I haven’t been working hard on my spiritual relationship and I haven’t been thinking about God’s will in my life so I read this letter as a wakeup call to get back in gear! But first the shame and guilt seep in because I have been lazy with my relationship building and falling more into sinful actions (as you can tell from above my attitude has been annoyance and bitterness) then into turning from my feelings and running into love. So I was bummed at work thinking about my slacker-ness then Maxine walks up! We talk about life and she brought up the fact that I had told her my future plans the day before and then she says “Kayla, you know God loves you right. And there’s nothing you can do to walk away from that. He has plans for you!” I’m floored. She wasn’t pushing this on me like some crazies come in doing, repeating that we need to be saved and believe in Jesus and start repenting without hearing us out that we either don’t care or already know it. She just states this fact that I tell myself but am not truly sure I believe some days. I thank her in the midst of trying to stop tears from this encounter. I felt like she was a prophet sent to me that day with words I needed to hear THAT DAY!!!! If only I would listen to the spirit’s movements more, then I could be more encouraging to people and not so angry!

Who Demonstrates Unfailing Love

2010-03-22T16:03:00.002-05:00

Have you ever done something that is a little out there? You know that one part of your life, one group of friends would be all for it and the other part of your life, the other group would be completely against it and even question your worth or your relationship? Is what we do making up what we are worth? Do you ever think that if you were truly following God and living like Jesus would you have made that decision? Nothing we do can separate us from the love of God and yet just one word or action can separate us from the love of a friend or the respect of someone you look up to. So what does this effect have on our faith? We grow up thinking one thing and then one day something breaks that belief completely. Our faith grows or stagnates or decreases by the decisions we make and the people we are around and look up to. So where is my faith at? I make weird decisions. My faith in God must be weird. How is God going to use the weird decisions I make? All I know is that I have faith that God will use me no matter what I do or say, He can be praised in everything and that’s what makes me hopeful that I’m not a useless case!

So one night I was kind of feeling down being bombarded with "mind-junk" (mind-junk is selfishness, laziness, stress, and a deep need for Jesus) and it was clogging my actions and relationships and just made me want to fall in bed and stay there a while escaping from my problems. Well I decided after talking with Lee that I can't stay like this so I get my Bible out and start reading the chapters in 1 Corinthians for Bible study. As I was doing this I was praying that God would just love me for the failure I am and that He would come close to me and really heal that broken part of me. Well as I was doing this I got a text on my phone from Lee, at this point I thought for sure it would read "Why are you acting like this you are being stupid and childish and I'm done with you for the night." (sometimes I get anxious when I get a message from Lee or when he talks to me because I know I've been acting wrongly). Well instead it said "Open your door". I was taken aback. I didn't deserve to be surprised but instead condemned for being selfish. As I opened the door all I could do was cry because there was a heart torn out of paper with a smoothie on top of it. At that moment all I could do was thank God for His LOVE for me!!!! "Thank God, that was Lee's doing" you are probably asking yourself, at that moment I needed to know just how big God's love for me was and He used Lee to do just that. I felt a weight lifted off of me. God threw Himself into my life and really gave me the peace I had needed and it's all because of Lee's selfless smoothie! The times I feel the most useless God reminds me that I'm not especially through those amazing people in my life!

This past week for Bible study we read 1 Corinthians 1-4 and I grabbed onto a verse I read and I'm using that to memorize and sort out lies and truths in my life.

"But those who wise to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings righteousness and justice to the earth, and I DELIGHT in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!" Jeremiah 9:24

This verse has been an eye opener especially about how I should be the most proud about knowing and believing in God and also that He delights in showing His unfailing love!!!! I have seen His love a lot this week as I have been searching for it through the memorization of this verse.

What's the story morning glory?

2010-03-22T15:56:00.002-05:00

As you walk in you look up and see stars and glitter painted in the walkway. There are boxes of food against the wall and then you turn a corner and there is where everyone else is. You look to your right and there’s a guy sitting behind a table of merchandise as you wonder how “ethical” that is. As you look around for a seat you notice on towards the front so you walk by rows of metal chairs to find steps people are sitting on and pillows on the floor where you can sit if you would like. The worship band starts up with a couple of songs and then goes into a prayer. Where at the end they say “and bless this food as nourishment to our bodies”. For sure, you have no idea what’s happening and thinking that’s a new way of praying for the sermon. The thought of the words God has laid on the speaker’s heart as nourishment to us. But then you realize there’s a meal for all who have come, so everyone gets up and grabs a plate of food to eat before everything gets started. Then they start playing Outkast, Everclear, and “Gangsta Paradise” songs to fellowship and eat by. After about an hour a woman stands up and starts telling everyone the announcements of the week and reminds all that there isn’t enough money to keep this place going so she encourages all to bring friends and family and help support and to buy a t-shirt from the man behind the table to help support. She also introduces the speaker. The speaker talks on Mark 5:21-43 the stories about the woman who has been through 12 years of bleeding and the death of a religious leader’s daughter. The speaker talks about how the stories are told in a certain order for a reason and how they both show the ways we come to Jesus. The bleeding woman had to work to get through the crowd and had to have faith about what would happen if she touched Jesus. She sought him out and followed Him no matter what happened. On the other hand the religious man’s daughter did nothing but Jesus still came to her. These are ways we come to Jesus in our own lives. Some seasons Jesus fights to get to us and we do nothing and then other seasons Jesus is hoping that we will get off our couches and work to get closer to Him. He loves us and will do what He can to get to us. (Side note: so at Bible study we were talking about 1 Corinthians 1-4 and two of the guys started talking about how we live for Jesus. One talked about how He has already done everything for us so we don’t really need to do anything because it will all work out if we focus on Jesus. The other guy talked about how we need to do things to show Jesus to others and that if we can do enough our faith will grow. Kind of like this story about Jesus in Mark. Alas I believe there is a halfway mark between us and Jesus. What are your thoughts???) After the speaker finishes, there is communion and a note that it is gluten free! Then there are more worship songs and a benediction to have a blessed week. Then they blare “Love Addict” as people help clean dishes and the building and also help stack chairs. The people you see around are pierced, tattooed, a different race, fat, short, skinny, tall, wearing stylish clothes, wearing video game clothes, clean, smell weird, a biker with a long beard wearing leather, a young blonde girl who loves to play with that biker, there are old men, teenagers, an older couple dressed up for a night on the town, the speaker had a Mohawk and a fork in his belt. It was a huge mixture of backgrounds and life experiences. This was church. The church I came to experience. How ~~was~~ IS God working in downtown Denver? (What a mind-frame I’m in thinking “was” is how that sentence should go!) What IS God doing in my life, in my thoughts, in my relationships?

Check this website out: www.scumoftheearth.net

My Life With YOU

2010-03-15T00:50:00.001-05:00

Photo = Ski biking!!!!!!!!!

I’m here living the ski bum dream and watching it snow, thankful to be done with work and not standing out in the cold anymore! It’s been a while since I’ve written and I’ll catch you up on things…I’m working at Copper Mtn ski resort for the winter as a ticket checker and anywhere else I’m needed. I stand in the cold for about 5 hours a day greeting people, scanning tickets, and being the soundboard for angry customers who just found out that life isn’t fair. I get an hour long lunch break to eat, warm up, ski. Then I head back to employee housing to cook, hang out, play pool/ping-pong, watch Arrested Development with Lee, and fall asleep around 9 or 10. I’ve got to tell you it takes a special person to work winter seasonal jobs. It’s a different atmosphere than summer work. You have to be more passionate to stand out in the cold. It’s also not as laid back and seems to be all about revenue and things (like end of season bonuses) get cut if the snow doesn’t come. I do love the community I work with-the lift ops! Yes most of them do fit the stereotype of pot-smoking, hardcore winter sportsters so it’s been hard to make lasting friendships with the people I work with since our hobbies and passions are different but most people are nice and we chat some. It’s also been really great to have people come and visit, like the parents, Leah, and Chandra. I have realized just how much I really do miss the stability of seeing the ones I love often. Why are there always pros and cons to everything I do? Alas the adventure of it all overrides the lack of familiar love, so I find love in other things like people’s dogs they bring on vacation, the kids that I see daily, the regulars that know my name, my supervisor and peers, and of course Lee. It’s been so nice to have him around! As I reread “In the name of Jesus” by Henri Nouwen I was convicted that I can’t do my little adventures alone and still have a strong faith or even sanity to last through the adventure period. He talks about how the disciples were sent out in twos and how we are not made to go in this world alone! Since my parents are tied to having real jobs and not yet in the age of life where an RV comes into play, I’m hoping to convince the adventurous side of Lee to stay around awhile to find experiences we’ve always wanted to try and do them! I’m done for if he ever decides to settle down soon because after my summer in Maine I’m not going out alone again and all my friends have ties in their lives as well. Going along in life with others is a huge thing God has opened my eyes to; by a blessed talk with my supervisor who loves Jesus but lives the Christian ski bum life and not the typical “church going” life, finding people who work in different areas of the mountain that are followers, and having opportunities to build relationships with believers on the mountain. The body is everywhere but I’m usually not brave enough to acknowledge it and unite. I’ve got to stop being so passive on the subject and really use the blessing and gift of Christ’s body God has brought to me! Along with working the dream I’m also daring to try new things like ski biking and skiing double black diamonds. I hope this finds you well whoever may still be a reader of this blog and I pray the adventure of life and being a follower of Jesus is lived daily. I also pray that you realize that you are a blessing to me if you are reading this, I don’t say it enough! May gnarly days come your way.

So...today happened....

2009-10-15T19:23:00.003-05:00

That's right...today happened and I was floored! First off I was watching the "House" episode from Monday and it was about this African president that was in the hospital for treatment and the doctors found out he was a tyrant, killing people in his country through genocide. Well the doctors didn't care if he died or lived and had a twinge of what's right or wrong. In the end one of the doctors does end up killing the president because he thought he was doing what's right. As I was contemplating morals and ethics and trying in my own mind to find the perfect answer, my thoughts just went to a question I saw on a shirt that said "Who would Jesus bomb?". Is that where I stand as a Christian? Do I follow Jesus' views on killing and death? I'm all Mennonite on this subject. I believe, in His commandment to us, that God gives us the direction/ability to love everyone and the freedom to not have to judge who deserves to die or live. We just have to love. But what does love look like? Does it look like killing one to save a million,that's what God did. Then I had to answer the question of who would Jesus bomb. I came up with a list! 1) Bad Guys - good guys always kill the bad guys...alas everyone is bad and no one is good... 2) Mosquitos - I thought about this one way too much and ended up wondering if God was ever testing us with Moquitos seeing if we respected His creation enough to not kill 'em.... 3) Satan - this seemed like the winner!!!! If Jesus bombed Satan then that would save a million hearts from brokenness, a world from dying, and His own sadness... Pondering the last thought I concluded that Jesus would bomb no one because he would have done it already....right??? Mind-boggling....I need someone to talk this out with!!! I'm no expert or even novice in ethics and morals. That then brought me to the realization that I'm "regreting" (I also don't believe in regrets because to me in means that I didn't learn anything and boy did I ever learn!!!) not living like Jesus this WHOLE summer. I feel like, just now in the last five days of my time here that I actually trying to live in a way to shine light. This whole summer I was apathetic to the thought of living like Jesus. Complacent and lazy...I even got that on my final evaluation at work....my boss used "headache", I like to think of myself as laid-back, in all reality it was pointing to the fact that I was a slow and lazy housekeeper!!! OK back on point. Tonight on my way to supper I was reinforced in the thought that I'm a Christian through three comments by people. All summer I was having problems with this just making it through a day. I did not think about who I was and where I belonged. Now that I'm reflecting on the summer, these comments helped to strengthen my belief. The comments were in passing and included "she wouldn't want to hear that she's apart of ACMNP", "I'm going to add some bash the Christians if you don't come", and "how could you say that you're a Christian" (in reference to phrase that I'm not a good person...hahahahahahahaha). Of course these comments were more making fun of me then encouraging but to hear those words coming from their mouths just reminded me that I believe God loves me....I needed to hear those words....well....I didn't actually hear those words....but from God I did....ummmm.... I was taken aback from these occurrences because they all happened within an hour of each other and it was after I was contemplating morals and ethics and struggling with the "regret" (I can't think of a better word to use at the moment) of not living a shining life pointing to Jesus this summer. I was reminded that God used me anyway and people saw/see what I stand for even when I fail to be a great example. SO I encourage you out there reading this long crazy random story to find the ways that God shows YOU how much He loves you. I discovered that today it was through a TV show and random comments from people!!!!

Let me tell you...

2009-10-10T17:45:00.002-05:00

about my winter plans - in about 11 days I will be done here at Signal Mountain Lodge (Oct. 22). After that if weather, health, and God permitting I will be road tripping to Devil's Tower, WY, Mount Rushmore and the badlands, over to Chicago to see my roommates and maybe do an adventurous hike, up to Wisconsin to see Lee (the crazy foo' who has my interest...is that a good way to say my bf???), over to Michigan to see Lee's stomping grounds, then south to Kansas to make a loop around seeing friends, family, and interesting points of the state. Then I will head home to chill until November 29th or so. Then I will head to Copper Mountain to start my winter job as ticket checker on the lifts. Lee will be doing the same and we'll be there until the mid of April. After that...back to the National Parks??? So I ask prayers for safe and wise travel, for preparation for the winter, for my relationship with God and Lee, and for rest. I thank you all for the prayers and thoughts!!! I love you ALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! Pictured: the Glacier trip participants at the World's Largest Purple Spoon (maybe) on the first morning of the trip.

Let me tell you...

2009-10-10T17:34:00.002-05:00

about Sunday - I put no effort in going to church. I thought I would be fine without it. Well this summer I didn't realize just how low I've become. Sure my devotions weren't up to par and my prayer life has suffered but my praising and worshiping grew with each hike and look at the mountains and creation around me. Both my roommates have left and I have been, not totally lonely, a hermit to life around me. A shock came last weekend. The last two ACMNPers asked me if I would like to go to church with them. First thought was YES, I need it, and then I realized that we would have to drive all the way to town, I made plans for later that day what if time runs over, I don't want to put effort into looking presentable in public, etc. Finally I decided it would be good to go, so I went. I was overwhelmed. It had been so long since I've been to a corporate worship service. It had been so long since I didn't have to lead a service. I was low on my fellowship aspect of God. I had the ACMNP group but we were still pretty far away from regular fellowship, they had mostly left and we were away from Church in the sense of a building, a piano, and a pastor. We had community but towards the end of the summer it was drifting and I was empty. So going to church was a huge encouragement. Of course the atmosphere was not as awesome as being in the park and the group of people stayed in their cliques at church but the responsibility I had through out the summer was gone and I could just sit and worship without having to worry about filling others. There was also communion and a chance to connect with my Jesus and His love again. I didn't expect to be so dry when I went. I realized the true need for connection and I reflected on college and the dry spells I had there and saw a correlation between all the times in my life when church was big and I was happy to when church was a passing thought and I was struggling. Church, no matter how much I liked it or hated it, has always kept me encouraged and filled even when I went with shame, judgement, sin, or hatered within me God has used church to make me let go. Without church/community I've been distant, apathetic, and a wreck. This is another thing I've learned through this summer and have used it as a time for reflection. Thanks to all you who have dragged, invited, or drove me to church!!!! That's the first thing I thought Sunday afternoon was "Man do I miss church". Pictured: This is a sign from yellowstone telling us to be aware of where we step...

Let me tell you...

2009-10-10T17:09:00.003-05:00

about my day yesterday - welp I wake up and think it's going to be adventurous today and awesome. So I go into work and it's snowing, icy, and cold but that's no biggie I'm excited for it to snow. Then I remembered that there are only 3 other housekeepers working today (4 in all) when there are usually 7 or so...that's nothing we got this. When the morning meeting starts I look at the lists (these are the notecards where the rooms we need to clean are written). For the past week each list has had about 7 checkouts (the rooms we have to super clean for the next visitor) and 5 stayovers (the rooms where people are staying another day). Not now...each list had 15 checkouts and 7 stayovers. That's not too bad when it was peak season we had about 10 checkouts and 7 stayovers on our lists to clean each day. Alas it was snowing and icy and cold. So all day I stayed pretty silent knowing that if I would've said anything it would've been negative because my partner, who had a really great way of just complaining with a smile and a "it's alright" after each time, wasn't into adventures for that day. So we finished what needed to be done and because I really have nothing else to do each day I like to stay at work as long as possible, also because I don't like to walk up to my room then two hours later I have to walk down to eat supper. Anyway we decided it was going to be a five o'clock day, in the snow, ice, and cold. We cleaned more rooms and around 4:30 Todd (the boss man) came to the cabins and told us to stop and head back to the laundry room. The day was over. It was quite the day and it was also a day to just stop and reflect on attitude. In reality attitude is everything - Philippians 2:5. ATTITUDE CHECK. pictured: Prim, Joe, and I at the Gros Venture RED HILLS

Mouse Stories - read at your own risk

2009-09-23T00:15:00.002-05:00

So I have had a great chance to practice cruelty to animals this summer by catching some mice! The first time I had to deal with this was when I was called to go check on a fire alarm going off in a room. I get there and the people inside (who didn’t even care about the alarm now) just went off on how there was a mice in their room and how I need to get rid of them and that they aren’t going to pay so much money (these people also had a discount) to have mice in their room. I looked around the room for a live, scurrying around mouse…instead I found this critter with the plastic cheese in his mouth looking lifeless and curious (I think that in his last moments he thought to himself “man, this cheese is hard and tasteless”). So I tried to hurry out of the room because after that incident I just needed to go laugh it all off a while before taking the body to the dumpster. But the old lady just kept telling me how she doesn’t want mice and then I couldn’t hold it anymore…I started laughing. Appalled she looks at me and with a serious tone told me that it’s not a laughing matter. I politely told her that I know it’s not a matter to be laughing at and that I would go get some things and be back later to catch their mouse. I ran out of the room laughing thinking “WHY WAS A MOUSE IN THAT TRAP!!!! AAAAAAAA”. Incident number two happens just the next day. I’m doing regular housekeeping and I’m getting ready to dump the trash. It’s dark in the corner where the cans were and so I just pick up the cans not thinking twice…all of a sudden there was movement in the can so I look down and see it. I FREAK OUT yelling for Heather to come and see this. I sit on the bed because that just startled me and Heather takes the trashcan outside to let the thing go (she’s against killing things) and then she comes back. She goes on telling me that there was not only a live mouse but a half decomposed/eaten mouse and poop everywhere. She told me to wear gloves to clean the trashcan out. I told her I’m calling for a new trashcan. So we give the poopcan to Henry and he asks what’s inside of it and I tell him mouse poop and he was sad that we didn’t give the mice to him. Numero thres happened in the VIP room a couple weeks later. I’m helping a group clean up there because that day I was a couple minutes late and Todd just told me to do odd jobs so I got to help them. I look over, under the wood burning, because I saw a trap and now my mind is totally expecting to see a micey in them. So I see this creature bloated to about double the size. Again I start freaking out saying “REALLY…who lets the mice stay there that long???” So I tell everyone we have to pop the body before we throw it away…no one believing me they throw it in a bag and take it out. And, as I’m sitting here writing this in the housekeeping office I see a mouse scurry around the floor under my feet…

TONIGHT

2009-09-23T00:07:00.001-05:00

So I’m night portering tonight and two of my biggest fears happened. First the golf cart dies on me as I’m driving it around to turn on porch lights. I’m driving using one foot to push and the other to punch the gas hoping it would work again. People see me doing this and helped push me to the front desk. I felt so embarrassed…but realized people are nice to people who look pathetic and helpless! Then after I grabbed another golf cart I had to throw away some garbage in the dumpster. Well as I was tossing in the bag the wooden fence (each dumpster has one to make garbage more esthetically pleasing) door closes behind me. I bang on the door, push on the door, feel around for a latch, and can’t find anything. I call on my radio for help, everyone laughing; I finally find a wire and push it open…stupid dumpster door. Ok so it was dark and I couldn’t see the wire latch. Now that my fears have happened I need to come up with different ones!

Thoughts on the Summer

2009-09-22T23:59:00.003-05:00

It’s been four months…I have one month. People have left. The leaves are changing and it’s felt like autumn for a month now even though today is the first official day. I really lacked in my blog writing. I wonder if people really read this…I know at least 3 do…not counting my dad because the print is too small. You can’t be a Jr. Ranger at any age, only from like 5 -12, I missed that boat. If you smell poop then you are probably close to it somewhere. I have taken a total of five pictures this summer but I made friends with people who are better at taking pictures and have more expensive cameras. Learn people’s names and use them, you will make friends with people that way kind of unsuspectingly. I really like Signal Mountain, the people, the company, and the food. I have learned to plunge toilets with courage, take care of mice problems with strength, and how to take each incident with humor. I have realized urinals are stupid because guys will just pee on the floor anyway. Some companies send their laundry out to another company for them to do, we are more hard-core then that. Golf carts are super awesome to drive. Sunsets and sunrises are to amazing to pass up most of my life. Smores are SOOOO good with peanut butter or nutella. I love hiking. Climbing mountains is over rated. I think I might take a brown comforter from one of the guest rooms, they are so cool. It’s ok to spend extra money on food, especially on food you can’t pronounce. I miss Kansas sunsets. I can’t wait to ski. I can’t wait to see all my friends from home and to also visit friends I have made this summer. The real world is overrated. I’m getting dreadlocks sometime in my life. If you smell pee then you are probably close to it somewhere. I’m going to Iceland sometime in my life. Mold is over-rated. Bears like people…especially people covered in honey. Music is amazing. Hiking in the dark is exhilarating. Life’s better when you dress-up occasionally, in fine attire and in a costume. It’s amazing to know what it feels like to not be judged and just loved. It’s amazing to figure out a way to not judge and just love. Job uniforms are stupid and it’s ridiculous that I can’t wear my belts, headband, or tie-dye shirt visibly. Alone time is needed - hiking, running, driving, eating, etc. can be great experiences. Make the most of everything, especially when your boss says he’ll provide the food as long as you write down what you want!

Last Sermon

2009-09-22T23:43:00.005-05:00

Overall the ministry I was involved with was a good experience. It started out rough but I learned tons and really realized just how big OUR God is!!! The last service happened on August 30th. After that all the ministry people were leaving to go back to school. So that morning Katelyn, Lee, and I got to stay at Signal and we did a special service where each of us talked about what we learned this summer. Below is my sermon, give or take, but it keeps hitting me that this is really the big thing God has enlightened me and shown me what I lack…………………… TITLE: Shortcutting Causes Soul Erosion - On a hike my friends and I read a sign that said “Horses must stay on the trail”. Well of course we wondered why and jokingly came up with the idea that horses knew that taking short cuts on a trail will start to cause soil erosion and lead to deaths of flowers, grasses, and scenery. As we kept hiking a thought came to me and took my attention back to the phrase “Shortcutting leads to soil erosion”. I realized that it can apply to more of life then just soil; it applies also to the soul. So I sat down and decided what things I shortcut from my life; such as waking up and running in the morning and getting exercise, eating healthy meals and not just junk, and getting good amounts of sleep there are also spiritual shortcuts like skipping on reading the Bible daily, not praying, and not fellowshipping with others or encouraging others or being encouraged. The big shortcut that I discovered from the summer is endurance and giving up and not persevering on tasks before me. As a housekeeper I have days where we clean five rooms and all of them have dishes in the sink, tons of hair in the bathtub, sheets on the floor, and rocks in the carpet. I want to just sit down and call my boss and tell him that I can’t take it anymore and that I’m done for the day. I knew if I did that my boss would think I’m not a very good worker and my co-workers would be angry about me not pulling my load. This also happens on hikes. Some hikes here in the Tetons go straight up with very few spots of even ground. By the time you get anywhere your legs are tired and your lungs hurt from the strain. While I was hiking Hanging Canyon I felt this way and I wanted to stop and turn around so bad. As we kept pushing on the view became magnificent looking at Jenny and Jackson Lake below us and gorgeous Goat’s Head and Lake of the Crags ahead of us. If I would have stopped hiking then I would not have had these amazing views and I would’ve missed the snow/ice tunnel! I realize that perseverance needs to happen in all aspects of life like the spiritual or physical ones. I don’t read the Bible or pray everyday. I don’t run or do crunches everyday. I loose sight of the ending and ongoing benefits and only see instant gratification. I loose sight of the awesome, life after death and think that right now is it. I don’t build up very much before sleeping or computer time take over what little things I did. In Romans 5:3-5 it talks about perseverance: Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Perseverance is the first things mentioned because without it the other things won’t come. If you don’t push through then your character would be wimpy and easily give up on things. You can’t be that way to follow Jesus. Some days are prime days of thinking Jesus doesn’t care; it’s easy to just give up with that thought. God makes us strong so that we can truly believe and hope that what He says is true. I’ve learned to persevere through hard days at work and on long hikes because in the end I know there’s going to be an amazing view. I learn to do things without complaining and my boss looks at me as a hard worker and I can look into a canyon and see God’s majestic beauty created for me to enjoy. So I encourage you to persevere and don’t give up. Sometimes it’s ok to be hard-headed!

2009-08-03T23:55:00.003-05:00

Happy August!!! WOW...I can't believe those words are able to be said right now...where has the summer gone? I hear that anytime now the snow will start, September is when it starts getting cold and coats are coming out. I don't know how I feel about that yet! So this week was Halloween on the seasonal job calendar. I helped with the carnival so I got to dress up like a gypsy carnie and help with the games and set up/clean up. It was pretty fun and I'm so blessed that the Human Resources team here at Signal are so involved with entertaining the employees. We had turkey legs, corn on the cob, frozen chocolate covered bananas, funnel cakes, and SWEET TEA!!! (Kourtney we need a road trip filled with tea) Then on Friday we headed to the middle school in Jackson and played some soccer and ate some amazing Asian food. I thank God every time I eat those delicious foods from Asia! That's my favorite way to worship my Lord, by eating food! So Saturday was another day of work and also the first day all summer that I put in 8 hours...a very exciting achievement! Then Sunday I drove up to Flagg Ranch (almost to Yellowstone) and did services there with Kylee an ACMNP member from New York. When we first arrived we had no idea where to go or where to get the stuff (worship books, cross, Bibles, etc.) for worship, and we were running late. Well Kylee and I laughed all morning to try and not become bitter from the lack of information about this place. Kylee and I finally got our act together and arrived at the place right at 8. We sat and talked for about 10 minutes and then a family arrived. At first I was shocked that anyone showed but then became intrigued! This family was from Taiwan traveling from Philedelphia to San Fransico on a three month family trip. That morning when Kylee and I planned the service we decided that the songs would all start with S (Shine Jesus Shine, Sanctuary, and Shout to the Lord) not thinking anything of it. When the family arrived I was feeling a little nervous about our song selection not knowing if these Taiwanese would know them. In the back of my mind I wanted to ask them what songs they knew or which they would like to sing but I stopped myself since that looked really unprofessional making us look unprepared so I went with it and Kylee and I started the service. I soon realized my lack of faith in the body of Christ. We started Shine Jesus Shine thinking that Kylee and I would be the only ones singing but six voices started the song. We had no tempo or pitch but it was beautiful. The language barrier caused the song to go slow so through the whole thing I felt like I was taking each word and really savoring it thinking through what God is saying through the song. I was so used to the fast tempo that I usually sing that I was stopped from the ordinary and it changed my whole worship time and focus. I felt like I was actually worshiping! Kylee and I also had the same thought that American culture is so into speed and getting things done that the slow tempo for the song really made us slow down our thoughts and our hearts to really be aware of our surroundings, the meanings of the songs, and the beautiful people there also worshiping. After that song we sang Sanctuary and it was awesome to see them translating the Taiwanese version they were used to into the American words. It was awesome to see Jesus break cultural barriers through worship songs. Then I gave the message on good works using Ephesians 2:10 for the main verse. My beginning story was about when I first met my new Taiwanese friend Abby and how my good works on that day grew our friendship and how she felt comfortable around me. It was crazy to think that the only people at worship that morning were from Taiwan and my story was about Abby, making the world seem so much smaller. Then Kylee and I wrapped up the service feeling so blessed from this amazing, Godly family's presence. The four of them and the two of us worshiped that morning like there was no difference, we all love our Jesus and that was all that was needed for the best worship service I have ever attended. After that we discovered that the family is having car troubles and so I ask for prayers on their behalf for safety, provision, and a great trip experiencing another part of God's creation. I feel amazingly blessed just writing that story down, Jesus was there in so many ways yesterday! Also on Sunday Lee (another ACMNPer and close friend) went White Water Rafting down the Snake River. Which was another blessing because the Munoz's (an amazing family of friends!) came through the Tetons checking out the mountains and checking in on me for my mom...hahaha...also were in Jackson White Water Rafting. I couldn't have asked God for such great timing that he showed. After the trip down the river (with a family from St. Louis/Kansas City who had never gone before and kept me laughing the whole time) we ate some BBQ (appetizers, main meal, and Chocolate Buttermilk pie...yeah we ate everything on our plates...) and then met up with the Munozs for an amazing conversation. Then this morning my roomies and I were awoken with "Hey let's go horseback riding". We put on our jeans and headed out to ride some horses. We also discovered that the second time is not free like the first time but the second time was so much better. It's just awesome to sit back on your horse and surround yourself with nature and beauty. Better then on a hike because you can't just gaze everywhere or you might trip over a rock! After that I slept all day recuperating for another week of keeping house. That's where I'm at now, Monday evening, awake from a nap, typing my life to you, getting ready to go back to sleep!!!! :) So I ask you all now for prayers for my body. It's starting to get run down and weird things are happening (like last night I got super sick after drinking some Powerade), I ask for prayers for better health! I ask for prayer for the people getting ready to head back home after their contracts are up. That the summer will bring back amazing memories, guidance for the new season of life, and safe travels. Lots of ACMNPers are leaving this month and it's going to start getting lonely here at Signal towards the end of the month. Prayers that these relationships that were made weren't in vain and that we can continue to encourage each other as we part! Lastly prayers for the roomies that God will continue to work in our relationships and continue to draw us closer to his heart and to each other! Love to you all from Wyoming and the bears all say hi and to come bring them a picnic basket! Pictured: the carnies at the carnival! :)

A SNAIL CLIMBED ON TOP OF A TURTLE AND SAID "WEEEEEEEEEE"...

2009-07-27T20:56:00.004-05:00

It's been so long!!! This month has gone by so fast, I can't believe it!!! Well an over view of what's going on is that we started some clubs at Signal Mountain. One's an arts and crafts club that's goal by the end of the summer is to have a 25th anniversary quilt made for SML. Another is the Howling Polar Bears. We jump into the (really cold at night) lake on the nights of the full moon. We've met once so far but are getting ready for our next meeting very soon. I've done some camping and I went on a sweet hike in Cascade Canyon to the still frozen Lake Solitude. I saw a male, female, and baby moose on the way. It was awesome waking up early getting a great start and then coming back down when the tourists are starting the trek up. I've also done another sunrise hike up Signal Mountain (it starts around 4:15 and we made it up around 6:11 to see the mountains change color and to feel the warmth of the sun for the first time that day). To see a sunrise is to be filled with the hope that God does exist. Last Sunday I got to "preach" at Colter Bay. I'm used to about 5-15 people showing up at the services but on that Sunday our 10 o'clock service had 70 people there!!! It's so awesome to gather with strangers and then finish worship with newly met brothers and sisters! I talked about Romans 12:1 and how I've been struggling with practicing the presence of God and really being conscience about my actions. I realized that even my attitudes toward housekeeping are that it's a thankless job, gets old after doing it day after day, and isn't really a traditional form of worship my motivations and reasons to get up each morning and do this job are what God is glorified through. If I'm serving the people around me and knowing that God is in everything I do my job will glorify Him. It really solidified my faith to pound out that sermon. I have made friends with the two Taiwanese girls here and this week was ones birthday so I helped plan and put together a party for her. The night before I drove with her to a softball game and we talked and she really opened up and I could tell she just needed comfort and a friend and after the party she was so thankful and really realized how loved she was by people who have known her for a couple weeks. I really didn't think the party was that big of a deal but it meant a lot to her and I'm glad God prodded me to do that even though it took more energy and time from my own desires. It's been tough deciding what things I should spend more time on and what things I should probably step away from. I know God is working and that He has it all under control but I still feel like I'm letting Him down in every aspect of my summer. I haven't converted anyone to Jesus and I haven't really been as focused in the ministry like I should so it's hard to think I'm useful here. My faith hangs there and that's it...I haven't taken it for a walk yet. I've been practicing comfortability very well this summer. This Sunday my partner gave a sermon on how Jesus is our rock. He's not our bean bag, stuffed teddy, or blanket but our rock!!! He makes us uncomfortable but he also supports us when the rains and trials come. My partner had an amazing quote "Just like a rock is uncomfortable to our flesh when we sit on it for long periods of time Jesus is uncomfortable to our 'flesh' as well!" It really made me think that I haven't been sitting on Jesus very much lately and that I need to start. He also had a point that we might have our foundation on Jesus but we still fill our lives with the sand and comforts and that pushes Jesus out. So this week I'm looking forward to a Halloween carnival, some softball, and soccer and hopefully sitting on Jesus a little more and not on my bean bag of selfish desires! Prayer requests would be wisdom in the planning aspect of my life. We're planning a trip to Glacier National Park in a couple weeks and also the up coming fall. I have ideas for October but it's always nice to know where God would like me to be. Also prayers for my relationships here. I LOVE everyone here but I would like them to see more Jesus and less me. And prayers for the week in housekeeping. My co workers are so great and we've become a small family. May we all be encouraged to keep doing awesome things and have the energy to do them. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts through out this summer! Pictured: The group at Lake Solitude...snow in the middle of July...awesome!!!

2009-07-06T19:48:00.003-05:00

So this past week I've had awesome opportunities to hang out with different groups of people and it made me realize two awesome truths... 1- the question why Jesus? popped into my head and so I went back to the basics this week and renewed the reason why I pick Jesus daily to be my savior. John 10:10 is my basis because I want to live life to the fullest and through Jesus I have the freedom. 2- I'm not the only Christian at Signal Mountain Lodge. I was talking with a girl about our tattoos and after reading the chapters she had on her body (Psalms 55-57) I realized that I have been selfish in my view of the people here and in my prayers. I need to be more encouraging in my prayers and everyday life. It's been a great week. Katelyn (my roommate) and I planned a fourth of July shin-dig and 13 people from Signal came and hung out with us!!! It was awesome to see the plans come together so smoothly. I knew God was in it all and that gave me peace. I stress out a lot when I'm in charge of things and so to have such an awesome evening of fondue, fireworks, friends, and a bluegrass concert at the Teton Village made my ridiculous stressing out meaningless because God was in it all. Sunday came another amazing day of services and this week the people that came were so grateful for our being there. A lot of them said that they didn't want to be inside and still wanted to worship and that they enjoyed the opportunity to be with us. The gratefulness really made this ministry worth it. I'm still not giving all that I can to ACMNP and I struggle with it because it's such a tough commitment to keep when there are so many other things to do as well. Pray that I will be able to sort out my priorities so that they glorify God more than they gratify my selfishness. This week the owner of Signal Mountain is here visiting, this should be interesting!!! Katelyn and I got to clean the VIP for him...well the stove top burners anyway... :) here's to another amazing week...no matter where we're at!!! PICTURED: fireworks at the Teton Village outside of the Alpenhof. This place had Christmas lights everywhere as well...it kinda reminded me of Santa's Village!!!

the weather is here, I wish you were beautiful...

2009-06-27T00:03:00.004-05:00

...I read that on a sign once and loved it so I use that phrase as much as possible. welp I have been having a fabulous time enjoying SUN!!! I've been running in the mornings, kayaking after supper, playing volleyball before bed, and eating candy because I'm in constant hunger!!! It's been beautiful this past week with sun and warmth and the snow is leaving and it's great. This week has been staff Olympics and I ran and played volleyball, even with the awesome skills we are only in second...to last!!! But it's been fun! This past weekend it was my turn to speak at the worship services. I spoke over Song of Solomon 2:10-11 and Hebrews 12:1-3 talking about getting over that winter slump and start getting in shape for the summer spiritually. It was a fun one to put together AND my fabulous, gorgeous gals came to visit (Krista, Tina, Emily, and Jessica). It was so great to see their faces and to kinda show them around this beautiful awesomeness. I couldn't really hang out with them but I did eat SMORES and go on the sunrise morning hike to the Signal Mountain Summit with them and that was awesome to share. I'm starting to miss those Kansas faces. Mostly this week I have been really dwelling on the "walk a mile in my shoes" statement. I know to really know someone, you can't. Differences of personalities, life experiences, education, interests, etc will always leave us biased to others but the walking in someone's shoes has now become more of a generalization to me. Such as a group of women have those inside jokes about our bodies, emotions, and such and I'm apart of that group and understand those jokes. Runners have those commonalities that only they share such as running is a natural laxative, I didn't truly grasp that until I started running more. Now I have the similar understandings of teachers and standards and lesson planning under my belt. Right now I'm learning the groove of the housekeeper and really bonding with my group. We have an understanding of each other even though we come from different places and have different interests we have a bond that not many can comprehend. When we talk about rooms we clean with others they just say "ooo...that's gross how can you do that?" but another housekeeper can come back with another story and make you feel better because they have the same mess to go through. This past week I've cleaned up so many gross things from hairy rooms to dirty dishes to flem in the showers (and when you wipe it up it just spreads!!!!) to puke on the outside of a flemy tub. I thought for sure without my HIV spray I would've gotten a disease! With experiences like those and the ones like walking into a nice and tidy room that leaves a $2 tip for each of us I have become more sympathetic towards housekeepers in motels, lodges, and college maintenance men that second as housekeepers. That understanding leaves me guilty when I dirty a mirror, throw my sheets and blankets on the floor, or leave my things in the middle of the floor those make their jobs a little more difficult and I know they appreciate a kind word and a clean sink more then the "oh the housekeeper can do it" thought. I love the fact that I have the opportunity to become insightful to another group of people, the cleaner upers!!!! It's like after waitressing you know how hard it is so you like to tip a little extra and leave an encouraging comment! Like the body of Christ we have the understanding of the love, peace, joy, hope etc we have through Jesus. Let us not forget the days before the understanding so that we will not take it all for granted and let us try a little harder to share it with others so that they can empathize/understand/and share in the inside jokes we all have. Christ's love and be encouraged because you're all really pretty...HUGS!!!! :) PICTURED-We went horseback riding on our days off (the roomies and I). It was super fun...we even crossed a creek...

2009-06-05T18:51:00.001-05:00

So another week has gone by and more wisdom has been added to the vault (or bouncy house sometimes I don't know...) . A lot has been brought to my attention. First off I was inspired to memorize verses with one of my roomie because when you’re cleaning rooms all day there is a lot of stop and think time, I needed some focus. I brought that idea up to her and she told me to just open the Bible and find a verse. I told her to say stop and I landed in Jeremiah as I was searching the two pages in front of me I came across the heading "Jeremiah Weeps for Sinful Judah" chapter 8 verses 18-22. Katelyn and I automatically made that our prayer for this summer, to gain the ability to empathize and meet the needs of the people here. The huge hitter was verse 20, since this is a summer job it just made the need for Jesus more imperative. Psalm 14:3 is also banging me over the head. The main thought that I have grasped from my surroundings is that you have to be a good person and do good things and that’s what life is. Alas it’s so much more than being good…we can’t be good…God is good…we are sinful…another prayer for the people here that God will use me to bring some truth. Actually I have been questioning my whole purpose for being here this summer (in fact I really didn’t start with a purpose, just to fulfill responsibilities). Am I here for fun, to meet people, to be a hardcore missionary, to find true love (hahaha). I’m praying for guidance so that I can make full the time I have here doing what God has brought me to do. Now on to awesome things. Katelyn and I did our first Signal Mountain Lodge service on Sunday and it went well we thought. 12 people came to the three services so it was nice to have that. Katelyn talked about how a pebble on the beach was made of the same stuff a mountain is made of and that we are loved, given grace, and made of the same stuff Mother Teresa and Ghandi were made of, using 1 Corinthians 1:27, to show how God uses everything. It was a pretty great time. The roomies and I have gone on a scenic float trip down the Snake River and saw beavers that was pretty cool. Lately the mountains have been covered by clouds to where you can’t even see them and it’s been super rainy, it’s hard to be an outdoors housekeeper with rain so we improvise and use tarps to cover our carts. Also my car window is broken and won’t roll up so the rain is making it hard on my beach towel. On my next day off I’m hoping to head into Jackson to get it fixed. Welp that’s a quick update. Each day I’m more thankful for the great roomies I have and for being in such an amazing, adventurous place. Prayers for the roomies that we can stay solid with each other physically, mentally, and spiritually and prayers for what God is doing at Signal and with me.

2009-05-25T23:18:00.004-05:00

Hello All!!! So it is pretty late (around 10:20) and I thought I would give you a quick update on things... I made it to the park amazingly, I have the best roommates (God has blessed me through Eileene and Katelyn), work is going so well, and it's SO GORGEOUS HERE!!! My first day of work it took my trainer and I an hour and a half to finish our first room, she said a good time is 45 minutes!!! So I'm catching on! Our first ACMNP service was Sunday and after the first three our fourth service seemed to run smooth and together. We only did services at Jackson Lake Lodge (which is the ritzy place in the Tetons) and we'll do our first Signal service on Sunday. I feel like it's been go, go, go and I haven't really sat down and rested or collected my thoughts yet so my body and brain are just racing. It hasn't set in what I am doing yet, which is working out well because it feels like just another extension of home but I keep worrying about the middle of the summer when things start hitting the fan, so prayers that my time spent here will stay smooth. Also prays that Katelyn and I's relationship will grow and not crumble since we sleep, work, worship (she's in ACMNP as well), have days off, and pretty much seem married because we're around each other so much. Also pray that I can draw closer to God this summer and not fall into the secular mind-frame, it's been easy to just throw that relationship away but I've met more ACMNP people and they have encouraged me. Last but not least the roomies and I went on our first hike (after we saw our first moose and went to our first rodeo) up to Inspiration Point/Hidden Falls on Jenny Lake. It was awesome (snowy, rainy, rocky, full of fallen trees) alas I fell (twice) twisting my left ankle (twice) and banging my right knee on rocks (twice). So I'm a little sore and bruised and housekeeping is very strenuous work so prayers that my body will be strengthened, healed, and able to endure with a Christ-like attitude!!! Thanks for the prayers and keep checking for another update!

2009-05-21T23:04:00.003-05:00

The first sprint of the journey is over...I'M IN WYOMING!!! Right now I am sitting in my Days Inn room recuperating from a 10 hour journey (exactly 10 with gas, food, and toilet stops) to Rock Springs. Tomorrow I will head straight to Signal Mountain Lodge to get settled in, orientated, and start adventuring!!! Right now God has given me an insurmountable amount of peace. It has been a pretty great drive so far. I saw my first Wyoming sunset...doesn't compare to Kansas...of course I haven't seen any mountains yet!!! Right now I ask for prayers about relationship building and that I will be able to connect and not be afraid to go out and make friends tomorrow...and the rest of the summer. So now it's time to see just how welcoming Wyoming really is...

The background...

2009-05-04T14:49:00.011-05:00

Last year (07-08) Molly, one of my roommates, and I were sitting around brainstorming on things that could be done as a summer job. The idea of working at a National Park came up. Through my many adventures I've heard that the best rafting is in the Grand Canyon so I thought that if I worked there I would get great rafting for FREE! Well I looked into it and did some investigating for a couple of days on this idea. Then in the JinxTale (the school's electronic newsletter) was a message about this guy whose coming to Southwestern to recruit for ACMNP, A Christian Ministry in the National Parks. I was floored! I wanted to work in a National Park for the summer and now here's an opportunity to talk to a guy about also doing ministry and having a support group while working, I knew the desire must have been from God! I went up to the Jinx and talked to this guy, collecting all the information I could get, and getting more excited about a summer job. I applied on-line at the acmnp webpage and picked The Grand Canyon, Crater Lake, and Acadia (in Maine) as my choices. I got my location back, THE GRAND CANYON! I was so excited. Living in the canyon, rafting in the canyon, riding donkeys in the canyon, I knew for sure this summer would be a blast! As the semester progressed and things started happening I decided to decline my offer because of student teaching and school starting so early. I thought for sure I needed to be there the first day of school (now I look back and I kinda wished I would have waited). But through those experiences building up the possibility for working at a National Park and another summer at the Big Pool building up the possibility that I would never work there again (alas never say never), I have decided to apply at ACMNP again. When I applied this year for one of my choices I clicked the "place where needed" button to see where God would put me hoping I would get my other choices but I thought this would be a step of trust knowing that God would know where I am needed (Esther 4:14). That's just what happened. I am now preparing to work in the Grand Tetons National Park in Wyoming (just 30 minutes from Yellowstone). I have gone through training for ACMNP (in Castle Rock, CO) and realized that this whole "being in charge of worship thing" is going to be quite tougher then first expected. But I have trust that God will support me, encourage me, and fill me this summer using the people and creation in my life. That's why I am thankful for all of you in my life, God-sent! So you may be asking yourself "what is she even doing and what is AChristianMinistryintheNationalParks?" Well I am hired by Signal Mountain Lodge as housekeeping staff through the National Park Service. That's one responsibility. My second responsibility (as a missionary through ACMNP) is to be in charge of worship services Sunday mornings and evenings for the people who are in the park. I will be a part of a group of people through ACMNP that will work together and give the people in the park a chance for corporate worship on their vacation within the Tetons. So the ACMNP part is just a form of missions but the Signal Mountain Housekeeping part is where I get paid to make it through the summer having to pay for student loans, gas, and other responsibilities. I do not have to raise support for this "mission-trip" and I don't have to pay to be apart of it. I am just volunteering my time and efforts when I am not making beds! I will be doing my ACMNP responsibilities from Memorial Day to Labor Day and my SML responsibilities from May 22nd til October 22nd. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please let me know! Keep me in your prayers as I begin my physical journey May 21st and as I keep trunking along on my spiritual/emotional journeys! Websites for A Christian Ministry in the National Parks and Signal Mountain Lodge http://acmnp.com/ http://www.signalmountainlodge.com/